Miscellaneous: Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently... - FML

By DeeDee - 04/02/2014 22:08 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 742

You deserved it 5 448

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 15:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 935

You deserved it 6 042

By Anonymous - 03/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 10 045

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 3 467

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 297

You deserved it 7 217

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 309

You deserved it 4 580

Awks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 21:23 - United States - Plaquemine

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 981

You deserved it 3 510

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 22:00

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 101

By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 989

You deserved it 6 698

By swervelol - 14/07/2016 19:06

Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 1 107

By holywowz - 17/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 172

You deserved it 370

Next

Top comments

xblaine 17

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:25

What an attention *****.

unjustlychicken 10

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:23

is his name dane cook?

Comments

EdenCrystal 21

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:33

Hey, it could be worse. At least he isn't booing from a discrete location, right?

yellowaholic 25

Wednesday 5 February 2014 7:10

I don't know, ruining all of his jokes seems pretty bad.

Ghost308 11

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:35

Sounds like a standup kind of guy

stryggzy 15

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:36

That's one way to shatter the iron balls it takes to go up in front of hundreds of people and try making them laugh... FYL OP

Jaaared_ 15

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:36

What a douche.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:42

Otherwise did it go well?

Ashley_Radke 13

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:44

I'm thinking not.

applebramble 22

Wednesday 5 February 2014 16:45

You never know... Maybe it's on YouTube .

ihaveasushicat 24

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:43

Could you have had him kicked out? I know it's your brother but that's really messed up of him. It was your show... Not his.

Turbo_Turtle 14

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:55

Did he at least stand up when he did it?

breakinlegs 19

Wednesday 5 February 2014 3:02

Was he on stage with you or just yelling from the back? Either way he is ass. Turn this FML into one of your jokes. Free material.

glabberfasted 16

Wednesday 5 February 2014 3:08

Hey, one of the characteristics that makes a good standup comic is their ability to handle hecklers. You're gonna have to learn how eventually to be successful.

chocolatefrog28 29

Wednesday 5 February 2014 3:10

So he beat you to the punch line. It's ok, just don't tell him when you play a gig again and you're golden.

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 107

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 875

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today I took my girlfriend to the cafe where we had our first date, with the intention of proposing. Moments before I took the ring out, some sleazy old guy said, "How are you two fine babes single on a Saturday?" He refused to leave us alone, even when we said we were on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 000

You deserved it 536

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 283

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 263

You deserved it 6 808

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 831

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 96

Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 330

You deserved it 2 697