Love: Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss,...

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 539

You deserved it 4 562

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 433

You deserved it 4 702

Some guys have all the luck

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 05:03 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today my brother tried to teach me the merits of stalking women on Facebook, gave me a tutorial on how to use improper grammar and spelling to woo them and finally, "using misinformation to start a conversation." He's getting married soon. The last time I kissed a woman was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 240

Gotcha!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 13:39 - United States - Revere

Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 469

You deserved it 1 118

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 75

By Lonely Gay - 22/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 506

You deserved it 5 396

Quel abruti

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 06:00

Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 222

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 814

You deserved it 58 529

By "liisiuu" - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 030

You deserved it 895

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 149

Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 127

savannah65 19

Monday 24 March 2014 1:39

Ew wtf

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Monday 24 March 2014 1:40

Why did your brother want YOU to teach him how to French kiss? Because unless I'm reading into this wrong... It sounds like he wanted to practice with you.

Comments

The_Hula_Monster 10

Monday 24 March 2014 3:38

Plot twist: He didn't have a date; he just wanted to French kiss OP.

jmattvs6 1

Monday 24 March 2014 3:49

The question still remains... Did you take the money... O.o

Sammylover 2

Monday 24 March 2014 3:52

Age is just a number. Younger Women Looking for Older Men and Older men seeking younger women. JOIN---SeekYounger.com------Some find their soul mates while others do not. But it’s worth the risk. Good Luck!

Shortay92 10

Monday 24 March 2014 3:53

Wait the only thing ur shocked about is that he has a date? I think I would be a little more concerned that he wanted you to teach him....

cometkeeper00 3

Monday 24 March 2014 3:55

Today, my brother tried to pay me to kiss him.

Msdayana 7

Monday 24 March 2014 4:00

Like teaching him with YOUR lips ?!

NinjaDitto623 14

Monday 24 March 2014 4:12

Omg, the title!!! xD

xxrebelsxx 13

Monday 24 March 2014 4:17

Oh ew , you would think if he was that desperate to learn he would ask a close friend or something , be prepared for when he asks to practice his first time lol