Work: Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of...

By whydoidothis - 03/10/2014 11:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 544

You deserved it 3 988

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 2 816

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 341

You deserved it 2 405

True hero

By MentalHealthWorker - 17/09/2020 02:05

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 241

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 1 870

By KP - 25/06/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 096

By Former Professor - 21/07/2019 22:00

Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 206

Classy

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 22:00 - France

Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 155

By Cultus - 05/06/2018 19:00

Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 696

You deserved it 192

Cooperation

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 02:02 - Germany - Emden

Today, I share a bathroom with two other people and we divide tasks equally. They take care of making it dirty; I take care of making it clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 130

By shewhopoopsinlitterboxes - 25/07/2014 15:54 - United States - Downingtown

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 975

You deserved it 7 660

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 3 October 2014 15:50

I'd feel worse for the poor people who have to use these toilets...

PipingMouse 14

Friday 3 October 2014 16:08

Make sure you don't touch the toilet seats with any of your body parts because then you'll be playing 'Herpes or Cold Sore?'

Comments

Mattaguirre_ 15

Friday 3 October 2014 15:44

that's not nice

Jreslier 15

Friday 3 October 2014 15:58

That's a shit job.

PipingMouse 14

Friday 3 October 2014 16:25

It's nice that the homeless people have clean toilet seats :) +1 towards my faith in humanity

addictedtoIASIP 14

Friday 3 October 2014 18:01

It's true, you wouldn't like it either if it were your job

Nilorak 24

Friday 3 October 2014 15:46

Can I join?

Sakuraashita 15

Friday 3 October 2014 15:46

That's naaasty!

tony1891 22

Friday 3 October 2014 15:49

thats a shitty job

Nilorak 24

Friday 3 October 2014 15:50

No shit.

EverestMelting 23

Friday 3 October 2014 16:25

I appreciated that shitty comment, #5.

WolfyGrace 24

Saturday 4 October 2014 9:24

I'm sure there was lots of shit, #5.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 3 October 2014 15:50

I'd feel worse for the poor people who have to use these toilets...

201chasew 22

Friday 3 October 2014 19:11

I would be scarred for life if I shit out a tapeworm

eaglerob 20

Friday 3 October 2014 15:50

Bank all that karma, you're awesomesauce

dawood_k 27

Friday 3 October 2014 15:55

So what was it... Tapeworm or paper

devildog562 33

Friday 3 October 2014 15:56

With the tape worm you get a nice new body and get to eat whatever you want, And possibly have them spread up to your brain!

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 4 October 2014 5:59

But are there any drawbacks?

devildog562 33

Saturday 4 October 2014 9:28

Negative, weight loss and a three foot worm seems okay to me !

candyolympics 17

Sunday 5 October 2014 6:04

#48, More like a 50 foot worm that can live up to 20 years in your intestines.

thebigtwinkie 28

Friday 3 October 2014 16:07

may the shit puns beging

PipingMouse 14

Friday 3 October 2014 16:08

Make sure you don't touch the toilet seats with any of your body parts because then you'll be playing 'Herpes or Cold Sore?'

WCARlover 34

Friday 3 October 2014 16:13

There is so much wrong with this. Cold sores are heroes, and they aren't spread by toilet seats

PipingMouse 14

Friday 3 October 2014 16:14

I know that...I did go to health class in high school.

WCARlover 34

Friday 3 October 2014 16:15

Okay, your comment would suggest otherwise

PipingMouse 14

Friday 3 October 2014 16:18

Okay, sorry, how about this brainiac? 'Gonnorrhea or Syphilis?' I didn't know that FML comments were so "serious"....

thejimler 9

Friday 3 October 2014 17:04

#14 they're heroes? I must have missed the pilot episode of the failed cartoon for "Captain Coldsore!"

thesmeagol 22

Friday 3 October 2014 23:30

thats unfortunate for you 28. Twas an amazing episode.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 2 522

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 442

You deserved it 7 608

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 7 552

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 432

You deserved it 3 806

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 925

You deserved it 4 221

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 853

You deserved it 8 481

Same thing different taste

True hero

Classy

Cooperation

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