Miscellaneous: Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour...

By oh gee, you don't say - 15/12/2012 18:43 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 021

You deserved it 4 665

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Same thing different taste

By dadsadipshit - 15/02/2013 23:00 - United States

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 388

You deserved it 3 212

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 20:19 - United States - Renton

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 725

You deserved it 2 219

By Ryan - 28/08/2011 20:10 - United States

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 222

You deserved it 8 174

They exist

By baffleduncle - 27/07/2019 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 157

By oh my dad - 13/02/2013 16:45 - United States - Florence

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 28 989

By K.. - 07/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 862

You deserved it 3 728

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 23:36 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 379

You deserved it 10 725

By yeah okay then - 03/08/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 981

You deserved it 2 122

By StromyG2 - 24/10/2011 14:54 - United States

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 045

You deserved it 3 273

Good God, man…

By bloodyhell - 15/03/2020 15:05 - United States

Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 285

loserboii 11

Sunday 16 December 2012 3:28

On the 21st, play some music with loud bass on your speakers to make the house shake. Then see if he comes down screaming that the Mayans were right.

TipOfTheHat 10

Sunday 16 December 2012 3:32

Tell him to explain it again, through the use of interpretive dance

Comments

buckdharma 37

Sunday 16 December 2012 3:46

I just got my 2013 calendar from Dirty Joe's Crab Shack And Pastries. I believe in Joe, although your world might come to an end if you eat one of them pastries.

XxXLIKEAJACKXxX 2

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:08

Border line brain dead gullible fuckwits awesome just awesome.

bignardz101 14

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:13

Well I think you are too

mufasa1026 6

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:13

Well??? Were you a ****-wit who believed it???

saIty 17

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:25

I'm fearful for all the stupid shit borderline brain-dead gullible fuckwits will do next week.

MerCede5 5

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:35

Well, two weeks from now they'll be saying "Oh...we were wrong again. It's supposed to happen in ANOTHER twelve years..."

daringtoride 27

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:52

I'm fearful too. People are stupid, and I plan to stay in my house on the so-called day the world ends. Not because I believe it, but many do, and because of those idiots, the crime rate is going to go up something awful that day. Can't imagine wanting to get on the road with those morons.

GhostChickens 17

Sunday 16 December 2012 17:40

I'm terrified of the suicide rates on December 21st. People have suspected that they'll rise next week as some people don't want to witness the "end of the world". Maybe I'm overreacting here, but I'm also terrified of the homicide rates. If a person kills themselves to avoid the apocalypse, they'd probably want to "save" their families too...

billyz77 24

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:26

If the Mayans were such great fortune tellers, how come they didn't see the Spaniards coming and get the hell out of the way?

ambitiousnygrl 17

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:42

Good point! Not to mention that they also used a different calendar system than us. So 2012 for them is a different year than 2012 for us.

Sinkhole 26

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:50

It's probably because they didn't actually use Arabic numbers to count years... so they never really say '2012' anywhere. You know... just a thought.

ambitiousnygrl 17

Sunday 16 December 2012 7:51

Exactly! That's why comparing their calendar with ours is like comparing apples and oranges. Their dates don't coincide with ours.

Sinkhole 26

Sunday 16 December 2012 9:27

Actually, that's not what I'm saying. Time is not relative to the type of calendar you use. It doesn't matter which calendar it is, as long as you know how the calendar works, you can still make calculations to find approximate dates.

ninjapiratejesus_fml 20

Sunday 16 December 2012 21:43

The Mayan civilization was declining long before the Spaniards even got there. They suffered from over population and droughts. Are you thinking of the Aztecs?

tsent8 15

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:54

Your dads wrong the world IS gonna end. Aliens are also going to come and steal our donuts. But it doesn't stop there I MARRIED BIGFOOT!!!

molliepop19 5

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:17

No. Just no.

ThecomingofTan 9

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:21

35, I heard through the grape vine that Bigfoot is cheating on you.........with me.

zgomon 10

Sunday 16 December 2012 5:25

They're going to take all our burritos and call us Planet Asshole.

tsent8 15

Sunday 16 December 2012 22:11

45- you bastard! But it's ok you know that Martian girl that you've been seeing? Yeah she's mine now I took her all around the solar system if ya know what I mean.