Kids: Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly...

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By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 901

You deserved it 6 755

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Great expectations

By No Expectations No Disappointments - 18/09/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 114

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 134

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 252

You deserved it 3 053

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 600

You deserved it 31 062

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 12:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 370

You deserved it 3 525

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 397

You deserved it 3 059

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 164

You deserved it 1 322

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 2 383

By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 324

You deserved it 3 113

Rallred32 20

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:06

Your father has a sick sense of humor, OP.

m22100 14

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:08

That's not something to " kid " about.

Comments

goliatron 9

Saturday 29 March 2014 16:16

YDI for crying like a little girl.

scarredone 1

Thursday 3 April 2014 23:38

That is hilarious. Sure are a lot of thin-skins on here.

MusicIsPassionCA 12

Sunday 6 April 2014 11:26

Don't be a pussy, I'm a 15 yr old girl and found out pretty much the same thing about a year and a half ago.

MusicIsPassionCA 12

Sunday 6 April 2014 11:28

Only for me it wasn't a joke

TallMist 32

Saturday 12 April 2014 0:33

How can the OP possibly deserve this?

at0micmin3r 23

Friday 23 May 2014 9:30

That's bloody brilliant! You need a Thick skin. C'mon, OP!

skittlesucker55 9

Wednesday 24 February 2016 8:31

Calm down satan dad

MsLemonzZ 1

Monday 3 October 2016 19:32

That's so mean yet still so funny Sorry to say

lccc_ 18

Saturday 3 June 2017 23:36

that's ******* hilarious

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I agree, your life sucks 49 220

You deserved it 4 361

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I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 131

Today, I went a girl's home for our second date. As she opened the door, she was leaving with another guy. I said, "I thought we had a date this evening?" Her response was, “Tah tah!” as she walked out the door while hanging on to his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 94

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 671

You deserved it 5 730

Same thing different taste

Great expectations

What the…?

This is fine

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