Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and... - FML

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 40 830

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Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 302

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 121

You deserved it 39 003

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 2 638

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 153

You deserved it 1 629

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 2 797

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 557

You deserved it 6 703

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 228

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 315

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 495

Next

Top comments

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

canucks92 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 8:43

wow one smart dog!

FYL_Lou 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 11:02

dogs love the smell of weed, if your have some in your pocket they will always be sniffing you pocket. the solution? get your dog stoned

oops_im_fucked 8

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:34

Run in there and get your flower back!!!!

friednoodles 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 4:19

nice DRUGGER

ImDB8 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:35

Did u get ur dog from the popo?

volleyballgrrl 6

Friday 16 September 2011 5:51

drugs are bad, mmmkay?

dubstepisdank 4

Thursday 22 September 2011 22:55

shiit this same thing happend to me the first week of summer... and im mormon... thats a serious FML moment right thurr.... try explaining to your extremely devoted mormon parents that you are a pothead when they have always thought you to be a perfect 16 year old, community service doing, gift from god. yeaahhhhh FMLx1000

jewelsfml 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 17:39

I saved a dog that was about to be put to sleep. it kept getting loose and brought me a cool tomahawk pipe and a can of food. I love that dog :-)

rhoholm 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 18:13

haven't you learn that drugs is just stupid? YDI, that dog is smart

Shadow_Phantom 26

Monday 26 September 2011 8:59

YDI for doing drugs.

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 550

You deserved it 4 497

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 495

Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 604

You deserved it 50 478

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 462

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 212

Today, I got hit on. By a high school kid. Who looks exactly like Napoleon Dynamite. That was the only time anyone has ever hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 230