Intimacy: Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from... - FML

By mouse_13 - 15/01/2016 06:28 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Spicy

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 590

You deserved it 5 666

mouse_13_fml tells us more.

mouse_13_fml 9

Saturday 16 January 2016 4:52

OP here- really surprised anyone would think this was cruel, as we've ben together for a long time and therefore know each others boundaries! Makes me sad people have to see the negative in something that makes me smile!

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ertyert 12

Friday 15 January 2016 13:51

better get her some toast then

cheeeksss 29

Friday 15 January 2016 13:51

On the plus side, she'll feel terrible about it for a little while and (hopefully) be extra nice to you the next time you're in bed. *wink

Comments

muchwow87 13

Tuesday 2 February 2016 20:57

...so did you get the toast or not ?

YaoiTitan 10

Wednesday 13 April 2016 5:49

To battle!!!!

yermum6798 7

Thursday 14 April 2016 17:57

oh shit this was funny

purplescrubs 1

Thursday 2 June 2016 17:03

Sounds painful. But it's also kind of cute.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Technology Geek Work Animals Cute Cats Facebook Grandparents Social Media Family Miscellaneous Relatable Music Scams Food Money Relationship advice Awkward Birthday Photography School Health Acting Parents Lonely Growing old Games Weird

The Top

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year-old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 676

You deserved it 6 735

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 513

The Top

Today, I once again confronted my boyfriend about tagging the girl he told me not to worry about in boyfriend/girlfriend memes on Facebook instead of me. He told me I was overreacting and, “it’s just social media!” He told me he’ll dump me if I bring it up again. We’ve been together for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 439

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 893

You deserved it 1 777

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 078

You deserved it 30 271

Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 067

You deserved it 18 139

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 781

You deserved it 2 653

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 189

You deserved it 3 897