Miscellaneous: Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar....

FML for mobile
Free

By me - 09/08/2011 03:43 - United States

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 7 362

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 030

You deserved it 7 907

By jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 052

You deserved it 9 188

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 098

You deserved it 6 752

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 172

You deserved it 3 818

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 4 520

Branded

By Anonymous - 20/10/2021 07:00 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 130

By Single4Life - 05/07/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 991

You deserved it 3 385

By theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 726

You deserved it 3 723

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 068

You deserved it 7 466

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 198

You deserved it 124 260

panda1o 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:59

well which one were you?

xlorawrz 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:00

That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.

Comments

sydie5 12

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:17

14 - Not Win..? o___O (response to the thumbs down)

butter5646_fml 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:33

If the fat one is pretty, she's winning!

Amrel 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:53

Why would they call if your both fat and ugly? Maybe ones a chubby chaser

Cenobyte 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:35

Don't you just love drunk people?

BighornB 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:06

Teaches ya for being a bar ***** ha ha ha!

klong91 7

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:07

Well what did you expect? Did you really think you were gonna meet decent guys at a bar?

BighornB 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:16

Tell him fat girls need love too

njgohard 16

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:04

Congratulations, ma'am, you just discovered the wingman.

cartmenlibby 1

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:23

Favorite by far.

aliwright 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:37

Omg wow I'm so srry :( I'm considered the ugly cuz of my hair color :(

chippa 24

Thursday 11 August 2011 2:56

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Cats Summer Virginity Kids Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Technology Scary Health Fear Animals Dogs Pranks Cute Proposal Awkward Embarrassing Job interview Work Relatable Sports Dentist Management Parents

The Top

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 313

You deserved it 30 644

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 784

You deserved it 2 410

The Top

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 534

You deserved it 7 807

Today, I spent a lot of money buying a birthday gift for a close friend, only to find out I'm not even invited to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 391

You deserved it 1 865

Today, I was volunteering at a gift-wrapping booth to raise money for autism, and helping others takes my mind off the fact that my mom died at Christmas. While carefully wrapping a present, offering bows, ribbons, and a gift tag, a snobby bitch said to me, "You're not doing a very good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 145

You deserved it 2 145

Today, my now-ex bf actually gave me the, “If we don’t have trust, we don’t have anything” speech when I caught him commenting “Soooooooo sexy! I’d hit that 24/7/365” on a girl’s photo on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 256

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 4 848

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 776

You deserved it 3 132

Same thing different taste

Feels bad man

Branded

Deluxe Memory Man

Top comments

Comments