its a trap!

should have honked her boobs (made noises while squeezing her breasts)

You fell for a classic trap. Never, ever give them the satisfaction of being right. They will hold it over you for years to come. You should've taken the high road and not done it.

Moral of story in short: Do not expect others to understand what is good for them. Apparently.

Relationship advice gathered from FML comments, in summary: A man should do what he thinks a woman wants or what he thinks is good for her, not what she asks him to do. A woman apparently can't be expected to speak for herself and needs a man to decide what she ACTUALLY needs. Strategy is more important than your partner's expressed wishes. Gettin' the feeling we don't have a lot of married people here. (Disclaimer against inevitable misinterpretation: This is an aggregation of the views of other commentators expressed above, NOT an explanation of my own.)

You should of said how pretty she looks

She completely tricked you. Assuming it was a truth then you could've lied to her. Remember sometimes lie is better than truth.

Is this you're first relationship? That's the oldest trick in the book!

I hope she told you that you had a small penis in order for you to call her fat! Never call any girl fat!

It was a test. And you failed