Miscellaneous: Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me,... - FML

By fuck off, eh! - 07/03/2014 21:25 - Canada - Milton

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 5 091

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 188

You deserved it 5 528

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 6 347

Freakshow

By iheartnjdevils - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 955

You deserved it 8 052

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 947

You deserved it 1 833

By Anonymous - 02/04/2013 10:30 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 452

You deserved it 8 362

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 198

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 88

By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 256

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 535

You deserved it 1 599

By 1ndustrytx - 04/09/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 280

You deserved it 2 223

Next

Top comments

JoshuahColins 19

Saturday 8 March 2014 5:24

Maybe he's just more of a cobblestone kind of guy.

jddrinker 6

Saturday 8 March 2014 5:24

You deserve it for living with a hippie. Next time just punch him in the face.

Comments

beaglegal 42

Saturday 8 March 2014 16:04

Your name haha! So Canadian.

Dumbledora 9

Saturday 8 March 2014 17:16

Because he has NEVER used ANY wooden products. EVER. Bitch, please. Hippies be trippin'. Did you explain to him, slowly, that Minecraft is not real and that he's an ignoramus?

JudgeComrade 17

Saturday 8 March 2014 18:17

Did you do it with pork chop?

maxman13524 13

Saturday 8 March 2014 18:26

This has been the best fml I have seen in a long time

ThatBigMike 11

Saturday 8 March 2014 19:18

You should murder him with a Diamond Axe and throw his chunks on a cactus.

howdoilogin 9

Saturday 8 March 2014 20:41

Your roommate is an idiot.

hellnosucka 27

Saturday 8 March 2014 21:50

the next step is chopping his own head off.

greentide 9

Sunday 9 March 2014 0:57

To which you should have, instead of cutting it down, burnt it down with fire charges or something

molliciousj 19

Sunday 9 March 2014 1:28

This is why you should always make sure to interview potential roommates, especially if they are from craigslist. He should just be glad you weren't taking an axe to trees that aren't virtual.

Infinity1337 11

Sunday 9 March 2014 1:54

Hahahahaha

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

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You deserved it 300

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I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 457

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I agree, your life sucks 9 431

You deserved it 65 045

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 359

You deserved it 7 336

Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 266

Today, my mom called me by the wrong name. This isn't the first time. It wouldn't be so bad, except I'm her only kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 95