Love: Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 46 119

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 117

You deserved it 121 362

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

Major red flag

By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 158

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 125

Insane jealousy

By Iammsofed - 17/06/2021 14:01

Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 120

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 6 347

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 2 953

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 2 551

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:45

You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.

suavesuave 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:52

If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different

Comments

JryanM 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 19:35

I think you meant *all women*

modernbenoni 8

Tuesday 6 December 2011 19:49

You could not be more wrong.

ImafukNskittleYO 4

Tuesday 6 December 2011 20:02

Awesome eavesdropping neighbor there OP.

rofflewaffle 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 20:18

If the gender roles were reversed, the first 30 comments would be "omg leave him!! Put that asshole in jail!" There is a huge double-standard, and it sickens me. This crazy bitch OP is no better than a man that smacks his wife, and society needs to see it that way.

Emperorerror 8

Tuesday 6 December 2011 20:26

You tried to assault him with a laptop? The ****? Jesus, women, you're a crazy insane bitch!

Cambria91 4

Tuesday 6 December 2011 20:42

if this was just an argument i wonder what a fight would be. I think when u start hitting your partner with anything its time to call it quits or get therapy. And who the hell posts something like that... Maybe if u and your hubby could act like civilized people u wouldnt have to worry about your neighbor hearing.

unixdude 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 20:57

The best part is that hubby could claim self defense and kill the dumb bitch.

ohmyhotdogonabun 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:07

The last part about the neighbor is actually kinda funny

Timmeeh 17

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:07

I like how you drop in "I tried to assault him with a laptop" as if that's the height of normalcy.

Casserr 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:22

I'd just like to point out that the mass majority of serial killers/rapists/criminals are men, acts that are not necessarily what one would consider sane if you ask me. I have nothing against men as a whole but since were over-generalizing and throwing out misogynistic remarks here might as well.