Major red flag

By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 291
You deserved it 158
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Top comments

Doom_Kitty 12

Yeah...run! I mean, having friends of the opposite gender while you're in a relationship should be totally fine for both. That's the base of a working relationship: being together but also being an own personality with an own life. BUT: getting violent and blaming the partner is one of the biggest red flags he could wave so get out there and have contact with people who at least communicate as if they were adults^^

36 0
Michael Wood_279567485 8

I don't know whether there was anything untoward in that friendship ... but to be honest that is 100% irrelevant here, because there is ZERO justification for that outburst. If you feel safe doing so, it needs to be a conversation. Be clear that he needs to apologise and it NEVER happens again. If you don't feel safe having that conversation, you need to start making an exit plan. If he tries to justify his outburst without apologising, just walk.

23 0

Comments

mega_bite 8

while punching a wall is beyond stupid. I have a close female friend of 20 years, she calls me her big brother. there never has and never will be anything beyond friendship, she is like family. if you told me I couldnt see her, it would be like saying I couldn't see family. it would hurt not only because I cold lose a close friend But having it implied I was a cheat when there was nothing going on, would also hurt. Then again, lots of guys are dicks who cheat, and react badly when getting caught. you got to decide which he is.

5 2
Alan883 11

sorry but "punching a hole into a wall" is not "stupid", its "major anger management issues". and "you made me do it" is even worse. you know who says "you made me do it" after getting violent (and yes, punching the wall so hard given the implication for the op is violence)? abusers, thats who. 3 months down the road of op apologizing for "making him do it" it won't be the wall but her face that gets the fist because "she made him do it". sorry but op should run as fast as she can. "you made me do it" is the worst reaction imaginable after such an outburst

19 0
Ambrily 27

Exactly, 'you made me do it' is called gaslighting, and it's the biggest red flag that you're in an abusive and toxic relationship.

0 0
Michael Wood_279567485 8

I don't know whether there was anything untoward in that friendship ... but to be honest that is 100% irrelevant here, because there is ZERO justification for that outburst. If you feel safe doing so, it needs to be a conversation. Be clear that he needs to apologise and it NEVER happens again. If you don't feel safe having that conversation, you need to start making an exit plan. If he tries to justify his outburst without apologising, just walk.

23 0
Doom_Kitty 12

Yeah...run! I mean, having friends of the opposite gender while you're in a relationship should be totally fine for both. That's the base of a working relationship: being together but also being an own personality with an own life. BUT: getting violent and blaming the partner is one of the biggest red flags he could wave so get out there and have contact with people who at least communicate as if they were adults^^

36 0
hopejm 5

run. I've dealt with men like him. he's gaslighting you and he has anger issues. HE WON'T CHANGE!!!!! also, I don't think their relationship is kosher. even if there is nothing going on between them, he's still blaming you for causing him to blow up. that's his problem, not yours. he will only get worse. RUN good luck

15 0
EBrogen 12

I usually give a woman a hard time, but I'm with a couple of others. The other woman is irrelevant in the situation. Imagine if things progress, is this really someone you wish to become dependant upon. That "made me do it" excuse just can't be overlooked, it tells a lot about the past, present and future.

7 0
RichardPencil 30

You did "make him do it" because you were getting too close to the "with benefits" part which are undoubtedly being exchanged.

2 5
Justkidding100 41

dump him. won't be long before the thing you "made him" hit is you. violent men are always violent

10 0
123Puppy 33

You should break up with him. He is a child.

6 0
Crowned Sataness 12

coming from a survivor, get the **** out NOW. it WILL happen again. eventually it will be your face.

10 0