Love: Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 46 119

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Same thing different taste

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 117

You deserved it 121 362

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

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By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

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By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 158

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Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 125

Insane jealousy

By Iammsofed - 17/06/2021 14:01

Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 120

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By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 6 347

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 2 953

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 2 551

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:45

You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.

suavesuave 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:52

If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different

Comments

Vlamblam 1

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:23

This website is disgusting for posting this story! Domestic violence against men is not funny, it's just as horrible as a man beating his wife! Sexist admins.

smashgrab 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 0:17

TI actually kinda hope you hit him with the computer, just so he would be justified in beating your ass.

athos1237 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 0:36

Maybe he should file domestic violence charges against you and use your FML post as evidence since you admit to assault. Clearly you fall into the Can't Understand Normal Thinking category.

QWERTYCommander 5

Wednesday 7 December 2011 3:46

I'm sure that you are, but are you aware of the acronym that club name makes?

Akers_L7 8

Wednesday 7 December 2011 0:39

An example of the double standard in this FML.

kchabot 2

Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:17

Hahahahah!! Thats awesome!!!!:))

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:21

An old girlfriend threw a lamp at me once...The make up sex was awesome...Doggie style on the balcony during a parade!

Pazu_fml 10

Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:25

YDI for resorting to violence, possibly damaging an expensive item, and being loud enough for the neighbors to hear everything. Your neighbor is a good sport, though. Props to him (or her).

Courtney_Sanders 6

Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:39

Why in the world would you assult your husband with a laptop? Actually, why would you assult your husband period!? You need some kind of therapy and your husband needs to find a wife that will not beat him and then post an FML about it. YDI

PenelopeRamirez_fml 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 2:02

The FML is obviously about the neighbor being able to hear either that or its made up...

mojo87 14

Wednesday 7 December 2011 2:13

The only thing more disturbing, than this FML, is the fact that some people have actually clicked "I agree, your life sucks." It's not like OP grabbed the laptop is an attempt to defend herself. She's purely decided to be aggressive.