Love: Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes.... - FML

By Jenn P - 22/04/2012 03:15 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 969

You deserved it 70 641

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Same thing different taste

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 185

You deserved it 8 986

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 688

You deserved it 10 788

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 861

You deserved it 5 351

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 572

You deserved it 540

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 941

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 4 731

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 636

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 836

You deserved it 6 423

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 15 455

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 367

You deserved it 4 455

Next

Top comments

furfantasies 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:15

Smoking is bad anyways

Chris122990 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

I think he's subtly asking for a *******.

Comments

pixie4 1

Sunday 22 April 2012 22:55

Sorry op but that's hilarious

jakewash 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:09

Don't smoke then

lollipopcicle 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:12

shouldn't smoke anyway

Leftieswillrule 3

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:24

Put a **** in your mouth, it's healthier for you :D

jmashini 13

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:27

Buy a new pack. Problem solved.

Bitcheslovetoast 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:28

One way to stop smoking ?

mastersketcher97 3

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:29

He's teaching you the hard way that cigarettes are bad for your health :P

anon_cophed 3

Monday 23 April 2012 0:20

I wouldn't say that's the hard way to teach someone that smoking is bad for you. The hard way would be to take her to see someone who has emphysema through smoking and struggles to breathe while using an oxygen mask.... He was just being an ass.

cheer4everever 0

Monday 23 April 2012 0:07

He's telling u in a humorous way to STOP SMOKING!!!!!!!!

nuggetman213 0

Monday 23 April 2012 0:08

Stop smoking, then... Or you can just buy another

Turbolag25 7

Monday 23 April 2012 0:22

Simple Fix: Don't smoke...

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Friends Jealousy Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Parenting Argument Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 685

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 766

The Top

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 633

You deserved it 3 980

Today, my new roommate with I've been living for 30 days told me that we needed to consolidate our funds. When I said no, they called me a racist Karen. I don’t have a choice of roommate, due to being in a program. I'm the only one working and this person has no desire to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 102

Today, after being unemployed for the last year, I finally got an interview. When they asked me my favorite pastime, I panicked and said, "Dancing with my cat." I guess I won’t be hearing from them anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 573

You deserved it 1 118

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 204

You deserved it 8 326

Today, my health is such a wreck that I’m not even sure if my main problem is mental or physical. To find out, I’d need health insurance. To get that, I’d need a job. To find a job, I’d need to be way less of a wreck. I’m in that state where you’re proud to have actually gotten out of bed each day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 240

Today, while in the hospital recovering from surgery, I got into a fight with my wife. Apparently, she feels that I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital because “Funerals cost less than surgery.” She brought an extremely detailed spreadsheet to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 934

You deserved it 431