By LustyDragon - 05/06/2017 14:00

Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 955
You deserved it 1 251

Same thing different taste

Top comments

neuronerd 28

My boyfriend and I have a policy, "your body, your decisions." Unless it's a health concern, you don't really have a say. It's just a beard. If it really looks that terrible, he'll figure it out on his own.

Rational Adult response: Tell him that the texture is really off putting and makes kissing him extremely uncomfortable and even painful from the beard-burn. (Yes, that is an actual thing.) Dickish and Passive Aggressive option: Assuming he takes showers, fill shower head with dye and glitter in his two least favorite clashing colors. Major Asshole option: While he sleeps, put something sticky and stretchy in his beard, like gum. Brightly colored would be even more effective. While two and three would probably have a higher success rate, they are obviously asshole things to do and could put strain on the marriage- well, more than it sounds like it is already- from you trying to control his body. Unless he nags you about your hair/beard/breasts/something-else- beard-equivalent-for-women, don't pester him about his. He might get bored of it or it might look and feel better once it grows out more. He can also condition it like one would condition the hair on top of the head to soften it and at least make the texture of individual hairs better.

Comments

It's his body, not yours. Love and accept him the way he is. Live beard and all. I keep telling my boyfriend this because he complains about my piercings.

The thing is, love can be unconditional but sexual attraction is not. If your partner no longer attracts you, it's healthy to discuss that.

Something to remember, sexual attraction isn't solely based on appearance. That's a large part, but especially later on in a relationship there's also their personality and your time with them that's a large factor.

It sounds like his statement is perfectly true.

sunshine1421 14

No, he's a person with feelings and his own style which is being shat on by the person who should be most supportive of him. ****.

ACCOUNTKILLER 18

How would you feel if he told you where to shave and showed disgust towards your hair? You can discuss it and you can have your preferences, but ultimately the choice is his... even if it looks gross.

Does he say anything to you when you miss a spot on your legs, or when you wake up and aren't looking your best?

His body his decision. How are you asking about him shaving? There are many ways to go about doing it, even doing it so well that he would think HE thought up the idea...

Eloise92 3

Then maybe you should love him for who he is and leave his poor beard alone. at the end of the day does it really, truly matter? are you perfect?

EggabethC 4

Grow out your armpit hair and try to convince him to dye his beard some crazy color (and dye your armpit hair too) so that y'all match.

OP here. Firstly this does get to be contentious as I have fairly sensitive skin, and ever sense he started growing the beard out, it gives me a bit of a rash around my mouth. I'm not ******** on him, I've actually very calmly told him that the beard is unattractive. Mostly because he refuses to maintain it. This includes keeping the neck clean and conditioning. Also mostly because it doesn't grow beyond half an inch, just really thick. I like the idea about growing my armpit hair out. I actually thought about doing that and then dying it. He has also told me he wants me to lose weight and take off all my hair below the neck, so how is it me ******** on him again? And to the girl calling me a ****? Life's a bitch and look in a mirror the next time you want to call someone nasty names. Try being with someone for nearly seven years and finding one thing you just don't like.

The double-standards he puts you through is pretty unfair, if he insists on you being hairless from the neck down the least he can do is proper maintenance on his beard with conditioners,balm, beard oils, brushes etc.