Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

If you're going to call them historical at least have them be historically accurate! How about: "Today, I got rejected from the University of Southern California. Again. For the third time. FML"- Steven Spielberg

Symphoniaes 32

Monday 2 May 2016 20:39

Please stop. ._.

naviajack626 16

Monday 2 May 2016 20:40

Should have been, "survival of the fittest at its finest as my wife left me for a fitter man".

KelseyDaBoyz 21

Monday 2 May 2016 21:49

These are dumb

vanaathiel 13

Monday 2 May 2016 23:58

These are stupid

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Cars Transportation Insurance Health Work Love Cheating Awkward Embarrassing Clumsy Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 398

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 099

You deserved it 642

The Top

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 933

You deserved it 43 863

Today, I finally got a job so I could stop missing out on going out with my friends every weekend. Turns out I work only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and there's no way around it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 462

You deserved it 4 859

Today, I went out in public for the first time in four months since I was mugged and stabbed. Today, I also found out the guy who did it was out on bail. I discovered this walking across the road from the shopping centre where it happened, and he was crossing the road towards me, smiling the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 108

Today, I found out that my father uses, "You eat poo for breakfast!" as a comeback during political arguments on Facebook. He’s 60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 111

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 531

You deserved it 3 847

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 840

You deserved it 13 053