Miscellaneous: Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware...

By observant - 15/05/2012 14:24 - United States

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 944

You deserved it 2 425

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Same thing different taste

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 119

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 629

You deserved it 5 147

By horn-y - 23/11/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 444

You deserved it 60 151

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 2 464

Attention!

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 878

You deserved it 8 304

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 239

Kids these days, eh?

By child - 10/12/2015 02:24 - United States - Avon

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 451

You deserved it 1 560

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 47 764

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 493

You deserved it 4 199

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 351

You deserved it 3 535

Keevarou 17

Tuesday 15 May 2012 18:56

She was in the middle of a lecture.. So that's usually where the concentration goes somestimes, at least for me. But hey, she cares about you, that's a good thing anyway, an you are aware of your surroundings, so it should be fine. In worst case, just tell your mom that, then it would be ok

TatMan15 10

Tuesday 15 May 2012 18:56

That's embarrassing for her. She should take her own advice

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:31

OP: But right over... Mom: And if you spot a drug deal remember to buy enough for your mother.

reten 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:35

Pussy say what??

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:53

Random ****** in the universe: WHAT? Humour aside, what's the point of that?

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:56

A pussy says meow. Or Queef. Depends on what kind.

mollysticks 10

Wednesday 16 May 2012 5:13

Reten: you just said it... HA.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:47

Was it Jim Jones?

verkaderk 9

Tuesday 15 May 2012 22:03

Explain to me how this is an FML? Irony doesn't make ur life suck...

blegehlehgleh 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 22:05

Today, I was buying some blow outside of Walmart, both me and the dealer were proud because we were being amazingly discrete. As a turn to leave, proud of my ninja skills, I see a kid and his mom looking straight at me. FML