Health: Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped...

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 4 031

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 861

You deserved it 57 659

By single - 08/08/2015 06:23 - United States - Houston

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 2 015

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 102

You deserved it 8 575

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 091

You deserved it 4 194

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 843

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

By dumping time - 25/11/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Aylesford

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 098

You deserved it 30 852

Toxic

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 23:01

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 037

You deserved it 2 745

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 031

You deserved it 7 737

ryannmichael 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:11

Then you'll know the debt is paid ??

pastel_fml 18

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:13

She must relate to the nastiness that is Cersei at the very least with that quote.

Comments

olillia 16

Sunday 12 July 2015 4:50

Everyone keeps commenting about Cersei... It was definitely Tyrion that said this quote. No big deal.

cfett199 8

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:26

No day like today. Well at least now you're safe right? You thought you were safe, and while I've never had ash in my mouth, I'm sure its close to being knee'd in the groin.

Abhinow 7

Sunday 12 July 2015 6:16

She may have borrowed the words but her deed was original

Wakachulak 22

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:26

Original? Knee to the nuts is a classic girl move.

josace 9

Sunday 12 July 2015 6:59

You know, it sucks, but that's kinda awesome haha. But I am sorry about all that

Quasars 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:29

Its ironic that I noted Game of Thrones in the comment before this on a different FML.

quackImapenguin 16

Sunday 12 July 2015 11:03

Given that you're the kind of guy who calls your ex "psycho" ydi

TheLadyOpal 30

Sunday 12 July 2015 12:49

Some people deserve to be called psycho.

Lilkat39 5

Sunday 12 July 2015 13:22

I'm not a fan of labeling women psycho, it's used far too often and mostly unwarranted, but you sir have a real dyed in the wool psycho on your hands. Good riddance crazy bitch!!