Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When...

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 453

You deserved it 4 363

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Same thing different taste

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 072

By BrianP - 07/07/2009 17:00 - Netherlands

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 542

You deserved it 4 044

Smoking gun

By cami - 19/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 104

Lock him up

By Homelesssoon - 07/10/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 3 906

By Look's like she's paying all of it now. - 06/06/2017 02:00

Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards, and my monthly paycheck was in that purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 347

Give it back

By upset room mate - 18/08/2011 06:59 - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 305

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 14:32 - United Kingdom - Kettering

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 288

You deserved it 3 032

By Ted, E. Vic - 01/05/2016 05:39 - United States

Today, my roommate admitted he spent his half of the rent money on a tattoo. It's all good though, we're just gonna get evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 195

You deserved it 1 731

By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 180

You deserved it 1 957

By TubaAssassin - 28/11/2017 06:00

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 294

mpsteve137 15

Friday 24 May 2013 2:21

Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Friday 24 May 2013 2:21

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD

Comments

killaach 6

Friday 24 May 2013 2:27

Remeber to say "shit happens" when all his stuff goes missing

dancinwookie 21

Friday 24 May 2013 4:09

#11 & 12- The fact that your names are so similar, and in numerical sequence, is kinda freaky...Besides the whole "kill" part, ya know?

killaach 6

Friday 24 May 2013 15:51

Lol, he has a good taste in names

killuhand 12

Friday 24 May 2013 2:28

id be pretty pissed if my roommate brought back a prostitute even if she didn't steal anything

MidnaLink 33

Friday 24 May 2013 16:17

How's that your business?

Snowlight_fml 7

Friday 24 May 2013 22:10

That went completely and utterly over your head.

CaptMurdock 25

Friday 24 May 2013 2:30

I hope you make him buy you a new watch and replace whatever was in your wallet.

oj101 33

Friday 24 May 2013 2:31

When he's diagnosed with an STD and is too broke to afford treatment, tell him "shit happens bro". See how he likes it.

Llamacod 11

Sunday 26 May 2013 3:54

op lives in the uk where they have socialized medicine so there is no such thing as "too broke to afford treatment"

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 24 May 2013 2:33

Call the cops. It's their job to arrest dumb people. And the prossies they bring home too.

drewflav 17

Friday 24 May 2013 2:48

15 - the act of selling sex is rarely illegal. It's often the act of buying/advertising that is. Thus, the roommate would be arrested, not the prostitute. Check UK laws before making a comment like that.

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 24 May 2013 4:28

Well, the roomie can be run in for hiring a prossie. The prossie can be run in for /theft/. That is a crime in the UK, right? That is what OP is complaining about after all.

stevothedevo 25

Friday 24 May 2013 5:22

#19 speaking from experience??

skatoolaki 24

Friday 24 May 2013 15:06

Prossie. That's a new word for me. I like it.

drewflav 17

Friday 24 May 2013 21:30

46 - irrelevant but it is something I've researched. Knowing one's own laws is the responsibility of every responsible citizen. After all, don't they say that ignorance of the law is no excuse?