World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles

Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny!

Red alert

By firefighter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 45 730

RIP it up and start again

By A girl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 285

You deserved it 4 647

Idiots, idiots everywhere

By Annon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 163

You deserved it 2 561

Choose your moments

By jcesom - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 326

You deserved it 6 215

I just work here, dude

By TVKill3r - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said, "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 184

You deserved it 2 836

Alexa, play "Athlete Cured" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 591

Hell in a handbasket

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to help my community by cleaning up a patch of waste ground covered in litter. Instead of gratitude, I was reported to the cops and issued with fines for noise complaints, trespassing, causing a nuisance, littering, harming wildlife, and about 15 other offences. Screw this community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 178

Lovely day

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s this year’s first spring-like day, with warm sunshine, birdsong, and the first tiny flowers! So of course I'm taking full advantage of this delightful weather by… being sick and staying indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 134

Asshat invasion

By TackyApparently - 18/10/2022 04:00

Today, the block where I work had mandatory all-storefront works. I had to be there. The workers asked me for my ladder, cord extensions, driller, complained for 4 hours, and didn't clean after them. Now they're in front of my shop, loudly mocking my looks and clothes, I can hear them through the door. Nice day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 128

Help, I need somebody!

By Almost40 - 26/06/2022 16:00

Today, it's my birthday, and like every other Sunday, my wife's been called into work, and I'm left with our three toddlers and yesterday's mess to clean up. It's raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 263

OK Doomer

By Fuck mankind already - 08/05/2022 04:00

Today, I realized just how we humans are dooming ourselves every day with the progressively insurmountable climate change, while people are being stupid arguing which is best, cold weather or hot weather. And that's just to name a few things to think humans ain't evolving any further at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 798

Am I the asshole?

By Imajerk - 13/04/2022 10:00

Today, for National Pet Day, we had a pet show and tell at work. A colleague of mine showed us a picture of her lemon tree. I remember she had a dog and wondered why she didn’t bring him, so I asked why didn’t she show her dog. Turns out he passed away a month ago. She burst into tears and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 246

Probably illegal activities

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 04:00

Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 139

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 112

Two things that aren't the same

By YanezIbanez - 13/05/2021 06:01

Today, my mother called me "wasteful" because I left the refrigerator door open and that "electricity money doesn’t grow on trees." This is the same person who lets my little sister have her light on all night, because she’s scared of the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 444

A bug, not a feature

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 14:01

Today, I forget to remove my mask before I spitting. What a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 1 424

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 21:28

Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 162

Grammar police alert

By Weekdae - 09/12/2020 09:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 614

Alexa, play "Repetition" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 02:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up and realized it's still 2020. It's like Groundhog Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 261

Fun fun fun

By Rachel - 27/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 832

Don't know, don't care

By All a hoax - 25/10/2020 20:05 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 528

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 234

Bye bye clothes

By kmjlevesque - 03/06/2020 02:00

Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 352

Stay alert!

By thanks a lot - 26/05/2020 08:00

Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 381

Paaaaaaarty!

By Boyufd - 16/08/2019 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd planned an outside party in my backyard, and I'd invited all of my friends. Only 2 of them showed up. It also rained today, even though it wasn't supposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 201

By Cogibbt - 03/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 145

He's probably right

By Anonymous - 25/05/2019 00:01

Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 215

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 522

Healthy family

By Anonymous - 27/03/2019 06:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, like everyday, I have to ignore the mould in the bathroom, cat shit stuck to the dining room floor, and dirty dishes in the kitchen courtesy of my never-cleaning sister, but today she bitched at me for being gross and unhygenic for double dipping the ice-cream tub, and everyone agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 352

By NowBubbleWrapSucks - 27/05/2018 20:30

Today, my mom went into a full war against dirt and plastic-wrapped our entire house. The floor, furniture, even our feet now have to be covered in plastic. Everything squeaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 606

You deserved it 258

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 462

You deserved it 3 383

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 892

You deserved it 40 112

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 644

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 857

You deserved it 15 024

Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 214

Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 489