Kids: Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at...

By Jim - 19/04/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 386

You deserved it 4 202

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Same thing different taste

By I fathered a pussy. - 14/06/2013 22:12 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 004

You deserved it 4 938

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 109

You deserved it 4 483

Fight! Fight! Fight!

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 17:54 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 2 031

Roid rage incoming

By screwed - 22/12/2010 17:56 - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 368

You deserved it 4 284

By ishyboo - 27/02/2016 22:59 - United States - Baraboo

Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 305

You deserved it 28 944

He had it coming

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 22:00

Today, I found out why my son has been working out and taking martial arts classes. It was so he could beat his stepbrother up and put him in the hospital, as revenge for stealing his secret cash supply, over £4000. I'm too old and too tired for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 459

Smash the patriarchy!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 369

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 161

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 661

By The_Life - 12/10/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 063

You deserved it 1 282

MrConfusion 21

Wednesday 20 April 2016 7:27

More like F the professors life! Your son is an asshole!

sempisaviour 17

Wednesday 20 April 2016 7:33

There should really be an option saying "he deserved it."

Comments

reaxion 25

Wednesday 20 April 2016 23:12

Well at least his housing problem is temporarily solved... Serves him right!

Claire__Kennedy 20

Thursday 21 April 2016 0:27

Karmas a bitch ~_(•_•)_/~

chosha_fml 26

Thursday 21 April 2016 0:50

So the housing issues come from him being a criminal?

metalwolf 17

Thursday 21 April 2016 1:32

I am adding to the "be happy he is in the hospital" list. If he broke into my house in the middle of the night, he would be leaving with a few hollow points included.

rubysgonbfamous 12

Thursday 21 April 2016 5:08

I think your son may have a serious drug problem. you might want to look into that!

ww431 15

Thursday 21 April 2016 11:16

Maybe time for a few little rules, such as not breaking into peoples houses.. :)

suznmar 16

Thursday 21 April 2016 23:12

Sounds like he's not going to have housing issues for awhile... Room and board are free in prison

jvanevery 19

Monday 25 April 2016 13:49

it sounds like your boy has more than just housing issues

repKyle95 24

Saturday 30 April 2016 21:06

Sounds like you've got a defective son, you might wanna have him neutered to prevent future problems.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Saturday 29 July 2017 18:13

Your son should be lucky he went straight to the hospital and not to the morgue, this sort of thing is exactly how some people get killed. Let's hope he gets taken to prison after he leaves the hospital.