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"I shall call him 'Squishy', and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. Come here Squishy! Come here, little Squishy!"
Someone's never heard of spontaneous combustion.
Funnier if he giggled like Poppin' Fresh.
Keywords
"I shall call him 'Squishy', and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. Come here Squishy! Come here, little Squishy!"
I'm sorry OP, but I laughed. C'mon, it's funny.