Love: Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball... - FML

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 111

You deserved it 5 317

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 14:53 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 3 771

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 073

You deserved it 3 088

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 2 477

By UnluckyGroom - 09/06/2012 23:04 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 140

You deserved it 59 705

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 927

You deserved it 38 549

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 230

You deserved it 4 591

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 122

You deserved it 4 709

By bmonehh - 24/11/2009 20:20 - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 454

You deserved it 3 498

Next

Top comments

maxhhh 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 11:57

Sounds like she dropped the ball. *ohhhh*

junkman6 22

Wednesday 1 January 2014 11:57

I guess her resolution was to get a new husband.

Comments

EvilLittleMan 23

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:14

Better to kiss him when the ball dropped rather than when two balls dropped.

thisisthestupid 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:26

You should make her slept on the doghouse for like forever Slap that bitch I'm a woman and I would undefstand

pickleOnABun 10

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:05

Bye Bitch!

jodyl1 5

Wednesday 1 January 2014 22:43

If she can do that with you present, what is she doing on 'girls night out' when she gets plastered? Not 'just sayin' but speaking from experience. Kick her to the friggin curb!

spookycat32 6

Thursday 2 January 2014 2:01

Are you sure she was drunk?

djinnyf 12

Thursday 2 January 2014 3:12

What ball??!!

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Thursday 2 January 2014 3:40

New Year's resolution: Find new wife.

mizzoukid 6

Thursday 2 January 2014 5:09

Well.. Has your ball (or balls) dropped yet, OP? Maybe that's what she's waiting for!

thebestdancerz 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 21:06

I'm so sorry!!!

jman26 11

Thursday 2 January 2014 23:39

Hopefully there was no Frenching involved

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Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 97

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

The Top

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 014

You deserved it 8 360

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 761

You deserved it 25 580

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 153

You deserved it 7 466

Today, my best friend told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore, because she wanted to start afresh in college and have pretty friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 127

Today, I made a nice dinner for my relatives, as we share the same quarters for lockdown. For an hour, I had to hear the same old complaints about other relatives for the last ten years that I have been hearing about every day since lockdown. I wanted to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 109

Today, I voiced my unhappiness to my girlfriend, as I wanted to go to a class before we met her friends this weekend, and she said she hated back-to-back events. It was unfair as she often planned her work before our dates, and ended up being late. She became paggro, all because I want to learn a new skill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 177