Love: Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball...

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 111

You deserved it 5 317

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 14:53 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 3 771

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 073

You deserved it 3 088

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 2 476

By UnluckyGroom - 09/06/2012 23:04 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 140

You deserved it 59 705

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 38 549

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 230

You deserved it 4 591

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 121

You deserved it 4 709

By bmonehh - 24/11/2009 20:20 - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 453

You deserved it 3 498

maxhhh 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 11:57

Sounds like she dropped the ball. *ohhhh*

junkman6 22

Wednesday 1 January 2014 11:57

I guess her resolution was to get a new husband.

Comments

jerry2011 4

Wednesday 1 January 2014 15:41

Did they take selfie? U can use it prove the incident next morning.

06cobaltSSftw 7

Wednesday 1 January 2014 16:45

That sucks man, divorce her.

Schiffy 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:41

Wow, you're a dumbass.

rockhead1270 5

Wednesday 1 January 2014 16:57

Probably wasn't the first time. You just saw this one.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 January 2014 17:38

You should have grabbed her and kissed her...next time that should make things work out...

culito_fml 10

Wednesday 1 January 2014 17:53

Suuuure. Let the alcohol bring out true intentions...

rebeccataylor 5

Wednesday 1 January 2014 17:53

that's cute...

awilliams44 9

Wednesday 1 January 2014 18:06

she probably planned on kissing you and mistaked the other guy for you. one can hope can't they?

sorrymybad 2

Wednesday 1 January 2014 18:07

Last night I was visiting my girlfriend and she got so drunk she kissed me in front of her husband.

radwanov 14

Wednesday 1 January 2014 23:29

i found him... quick, punch him

Saikon1357 25

Wednesday 1 January 2014 18:43

happy new year... yay~

ctlnaaia71 8

Wednesday 1 January 2014 18:52

She was faking it!

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Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 880

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 2 483

The Top

Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 410

Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 137

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 683

You deserved it 1 756

Today, I spent the night with in a hotel with my boyfriend's parents, because I went with them to visit him in Atlanta. This morning when I woke up, the first thing they said to me was, "Wow, you're a small girl but you snore like a man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 287

Today, I found out that no matter how careful you are during this pandemic, wearing a mask, washing hands, and social distancing, you can still get COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 273

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 193

Same thing different taste

Tasty

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