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Am I the only one who read this, and immediately thought of Prince John from the Disney Robin Hood movie sucking his thumb and tugging his ear while whimpering for his mommy?
Tell her that she's an adult with fully functional hands, and if she wants her pacifier, she can put it in herself. FFS, even toddlers can manage that much.
Ya should have told her that you have something better to stick in her mouth 😈
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It's only an FML because you will soon be able to watch yourself in the prank video soon to be released.
I would call such a woman a troll.