Love: Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked... - FML

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By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 4 142

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 463

You deserved it 15 028

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 6 011

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 386

Forever alone

By forever alone - 27/03/2022 16:00

Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 190

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 107

You deserved it 10 934

Anthropomorphism

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Southend

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 164

Life ain't a Disney movie

By Phil - 06/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 845

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 15 527

By susiedoggles - 05/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 312

Caturday visitor

By Bored - 27/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 163

Next

Top comments

easrc 5

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:28

I know exactly how you feel...

k99 5

Friday 26 August 2011 20:21

He said "engaging in mating rituals" because it really sounds better than"two squirrels *******:". And nothing is wrong with his'big words', there actual words that real people use and stupid people hate people who know these words because it makes them feel insecure. I'm sorry dude, a smart guy like you should be able to find a girl soon except for the fact they all want an idiot like #28

Comments

der_Jabberwhock 0

Friday 26 June 2009 20:32

LOL FYL indeed. Ive been there.

pentameter 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:17

#4 FTW

callicoat 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 0:51

you people don't have lives.

Violet_Embers95 22

Tuesday 16 December 2014 4:28

and you are a jerk.

hawxfighter_fml 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 21:37

who dosent? (jk)

Mylees 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 9:47

get a room! you damn squirrels

michabailey 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 17:03

Guys -- listen to Stuff You Should Know. You don't mean jealousy -- it's envy. Jealousy is when you feel losing something you have, such as a significant other.

yupitstupps 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 5:53

you say "engaging in mating rituals"? no wonder you're single, loser.

astriofou 0

Monday 25 April 2011 14:43

so whats more pathetic: using big words to describe your wondrous adventures in animal ****? or that you envy them?

stupdude3 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 21:34

#28 Learn English. Jealousy and envy mean the exact same thing, except envy can be used as a verb.

sayitagain 9

Monday 15 August 2011 4:17

Whenever I see a squirrel I totally feel the need to **** them! Jk jk!

k99 5

Friday 26 August 2011 20:21

He said "engaging in mating rituals" because it really sounds better than"two squirrels *******:". And nothing is wrong with his'big words', there actual words that real people use and stupid people hate people who know these words because it makes them feel insecure. I'm sorry dude, a smart guy like you should be able to find a girl soon except for the fact they all want an idiot like #28

Dale_shackleford 13

Thursday 28 July 2016 0:21

I agree with your point, but it sounds like the op purposely made it more complicated and ended up sounding like he was trying too hard.

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