Animals: Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my...

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 16:02 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 856

You deserved it 54 914

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Same thing different taste

By stixx - 25/10/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 75 537

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 166

You deserved it 29 135

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 057

You deserved it 104 327

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 5 848

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 6 324

Cats can do anything, but they have to want to

By Thankful I wear glasses - 29/06/2021 19:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 239

You deserved it 89 776

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 3 581

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 209

SumBur 11

Wednesday 17 July 2013 22:30

Hakuna matata.

angelitared 27

Wednesday 17 July 2013 22:30

Simba has spoken!!

Comments

gaki_fml 8

Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:12

On the bright side, you were pretty successful at being funny. They'll be laughing at that for years.

kurodansei 16

Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:17

ummm... you don't hold your cat directly over your head when doing the Lion King. you hold it out a bit so that type of thing doesn't happen.

Ventifrappe 5

Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:28

At least you got them to laugh.

Bi_ShrDiWun 10

Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:38

I'm sorry, but I just had to hit YDI as soon as I read "...trying to be funny..."

ShoyuSauceSoup 26

Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:40

Your head is full of shit...

buddy51 23

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:10

..... while this cat, clearly, gave a gigantic stinking tuna-laden crap! YDI, OP, for mishandling the pussy!

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:11

Lion king song...followed by oh shit...

poopsi 19

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:20

My cat personally is really laid back and might as well be a rag doll. Some cats just don't care. :P

billyjoel456 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:29

So did they laugh?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:55

If you handle your cat at all you know it's personality. I have one cat I can do anything to and she just doesn't care. Long as I am holding her I can balance her on my head and she will stay however I pose her. Other cats will shred me for looking at them wrong.