Animals: Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my...

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 16:02 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 856

You deserved it 54 914

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Same thing different taste

By stixx - 25/10/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 75 537

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 166

You deserved it 29 135

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 057

You deserved it 104 327

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 5 848

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 6 324

Cats can do anything, but they have to want to

By Thankful I wear glasses - 29/06/2021 19:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 239

You deserved it 89 776

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 3 581

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 209

SumBur 11

Wednesday 17 July 2013 22:30

Hakuna matata.

angelitared 27

Wednesday 17 July 2013 22:30

Simba has spoken!!

Comments

spottyblanket 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 19:26

YDI animals are not playthings

hanakaicho 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 19:30

Brought that one on yourself, dude.

Omniprism 14

Thursday 18 July 2013 20:00

Oh, poor kitty.

oopsfail 11

Thursday 18 July 2013 21:35

Shit faced level "cat" lol

carnage45567 10

Thursday 18 July 2013 22:48

I bet that made them shit themselves laughing

Protagonist_ 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:29

At least you got the laugh you were looking for.

Sonotsuave 35

Friday 19 July 2013 1:57

Hah. That is funny

mcauley3 8

Friday 19 July 2013 3:40

well that is funny

Raykyogrou03 12

Friday 19 July 2013 12:22

Well, cats are afraid of heights. There's a reason they need a fireman to get them out of a tree

joyce71 5

Friday 19 July 2013 16:32

I can't. stop laughing.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 2 938

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 601

You deserved it 4 113

Today, my in-laws came to visit from their home country. They were shocked and appalled when they saw the kids helping out around the house. They then asked earnestly why I make my sons clean up instead of making my daughter do it so she can “train” to be a good wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 109

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 2 902

Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 253

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 616

You deserved it 4 449

Same thing different taste

Freak out

Cats can do anything, but they have to want to

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

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