Miscellaneous: Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls...

By dummy441 - 21/04/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 791

You deserved it 68 184

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Same thing different taste

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 320

You deserved it 5 876

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

By AwkwardWaitress - 20/03/2011 23:29 - United Kingdom

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 822

You deserved it 15 713

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 146

You deserved it 3 487

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 858

You deserved it 4 613

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 2 728

By ronboy - 26/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 746

You deserved it 2 815

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 578

You deserved it 3 995

The Conversationalist

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 406

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

fayayay 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 12:13

good thing they're mentally challenged or else he might have been really offended

elloelen 0

Friday 10 December 2010 23:46

for more beer

Comments

curryndricegirll 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 3:51

Why would there be drunks in a grocery store with a drunk driver? I guess it's not completely your fault for confusing them, because you couldn't have known. But still, it would have made sense if there was even a bar nearby.

Equimanthorn 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:31

probably was cerebreal palsy. So therefore, they weren't mentally challenged

monnanon 13

Saturday 2 March 2013 11:00

*cerebral* and our brains work just fine well apart from the bit that control coordination.

Surfsnaked 0

Friday 24 April 2009 21:21

#1 lol.... mean but deliciously funny

kaylaella 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 1:56

lmfaooo .

CaptainJellyBean 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 7:10

This post reminds me of an episode of The Extras (brilliant show) where Ricky Gervais is on set and one of the actresses sisters come in to say hello; upon meeting her he turns to the sister and says "Looks like she's had one too many" only to find out she suffers from cerebral palsy. Definitely awkward.

johnny93_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:56

hahaha that's funny xD

HardKase 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 18:51

Sounds like your a prime candidate for the canadian police force http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090423/autistic_arrest_AM_090423/20090423?hub=Canada

idiotsRU 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 3:12

Speaking of making a fool of yourself in front of the mentally challenged: The other day in my partners gym class (I'm a helper), I was talking to a girl that is, always has been, and always will be in a wheelchair. We were talking about the Eaglette's (our school's dance team) and how they'd performed a couple of days previous. I told her that I wish I could dance.