Animals: Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked...

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 3 190

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 995

You deserved it 9 670

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 669

You deserved it 6 031

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 314

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

By dogggg - 14/07/2014 02:10 - India - Pune

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 740

You deserved it 9 632

By ballbreath - 16/07/2014 15:44 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 839

You deserved it 5 181

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 2 847

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 497

You deserved it 15 110

VeganDarkLight 31

Friday 24 July 2015 9:35

To be honest I really don't get why a lot of pet owners let their pets lick their faces. It's pretty disgusting to me even if that dog/cat hasn't thrown up or licked their ass/balls etc. before.

ZelmaSlayer 30

Friday 24 July 2015 9:27

*Cleveland's voice* "That's nasty."

Comments

YOLOMCSWAGINS 2

Friday 24 July 2015 11:02

wow that sucks

KingLewisII 34

Friday 24 July 2015 11:29

if he's not throwing up he's licking his butt and balls, that's why I don't let my dogs luck my face at all.

californian21 13

Friday 24 July 2015 12:14

I feel your pain... My dog and I were playing and he broke my tooth

Hauclir 14

Friday 24 July 2015 12:27

And they say a dogs mouth is cleaner than a persons.

rockwrench 18

Friday 24 July 2015 12:46

If it wasn't puke, it's after licking their ass. Not sure whats worse.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 24 July 2015 13:01

You're awake...clean your face in the shower...problem solved

Goblin182 26

Friday 24 July 2015 13:02

At least he didn't throw up after licking your face. What an insult that would be.

Attacksloth 33

Friday 24 July 2015 13:58

Believe me, OP, vomit is not the nastiest thing that entered your dog's mouth today. You forgot about: his testicles, dog poop, the dirty ground, toilet water, etc.

FalloutScrolls 25

Friday 24 July 2015 14:47

See, it's stories like this that make me glad I'm majorly allergic to dogs dander so I can never experience the unconditional love of post-puke licking.