Miscellaneous: Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided...

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 3 361

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Same thing different taste

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 247

You deserved it 5 553

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 5 834

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 462

You deserved it 3 147

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 465

You deserved it 2 866

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 893

intensitive 11

Monday 15 February 2010 13:16

That's when you say, "Don't blame me for your rancid gas, bitch!"

DarkPrince_fml 0

Monday 15 February 2010 15:08

I wouldve said this as loud as possible IM TELLING MOM UR PREGNANT

Comments

finndizzle 0

Monday 15 February 2010 13:53

Man up and be the destroyer of bathrooms. The next time that woman gets out of line in front of everyone, tell her to shut her mouth and remind everyone how she makes the bathroom smell like a fish market sometimes

13lack 0

Monday 15 February 2010 14:04

happened to me. I feel your pain

dragonwarrior 3

Monday 15 February 2010 14:17

Big deal just laugh it off. I mean its your family right?

12stargirl 0

Monday 15 February 2010 14:29

u should of slapped her!

Blahp 0

Monday 15 February 2010 14:35

Your bowels didn't "decide" they needed to be emptied XD

bluesclues72 0

Monday 15 February 2010 14:35

happened to me at my friends, dads, girlfriend's house. realllllyyyyy embarrassing

ZombieBunnies 0

Monday 15 February 2010 19:31

Have you noticed a pattern yet? Ememize daily and never be embarassed again.

weezyDyl 0

Monday 15 February 2010 14:36

exactly #10!! who cares it's family

darkmis1 17

Monday 15 February 2010 14:58

"My bowels suddenly decded they needed to be emptied"? You couldn't just say "I had to use the bathroom"?

quietlytearful 0

Monday 15 February 2010 15:03

family makes it more embarrasing cause they like to make fun of you. it's just a fact of life. cousins are merciless. well, mine at least. but I'm guessing OPs are too because it's an FML. :D