Intimacy: Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants.... - FML

By ANON - 13/08/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento

Spicy

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 059

You deserved it 19 165

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Same thing different taste

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 224

You deserved it 3 966

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 187

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 456

You deserved it 25 228

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 2 068

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 673

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 251

You deserved it 8 263

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 540

You deserved it 437

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

Next

Top comments

agentaquamarine 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:52

talk about ear-otic

ghostlilac 25

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:47

Andy Samberg? Is that you?

Comments

reeneebabe 10

Saturday 24 August 2013 21:19

lol(x

spookycat32 6

Sunday 25 August 2013 18:49

Eargasm!!!

meaui 5

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:57

Arent your ears connected to your private parts? Makes it a lot lees awkward imo

kareena_clarke 2

Thursday 5 September 2013 5:22

that is so sexy

darkfireflame 15

Thursday 12 September 2013 13:19

That is a rare gift.

pfft123 14

Tuesday 12 November 2013 15:56

Awesome! Not sure if I should laugh or facepalm on this one lol.

bleh1st 0

Saturday 25 January 2014 8:42

I swear to GOD that I just spent 10 minutes making an account to just comment on this because I've been on fml for 3 hours, and the second I go to the bathroom and am cleaning my ears out with a q tip, I read this... I swear... wtf.

TrueFG 2

Saturday 15 February 2014 21:57

You should talk to Lonely Island, I've heard they like to **** in their pants too.

Puncake69 5

Friday 25 April 2014 21:26

Good I'm not the only one

6demon6spawn6 12

Wednesday 4 June 2014 19:41

I get that it feels nice, but thats nasty.

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Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 35 120

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