Clothes, Insects and Animals: Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three...

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 36 947

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 823

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 5 898

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 667

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 274

You deserved it 62 330

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 100

You deserved it 46 458

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 380

By failure461 - 13/06/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 41 938

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 088

Ewwwwww

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States

Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 098

You deserved it 554

uxoriouswidow 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 1:07

That's what real men do. It isn't a legitimate kill unless your body is smeared with the victim's entrails.

marathdamane91 2

Friday 26 February 2010 23:06

congratulations on catching and killing a fly it's quite hard

Comments

poooook 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:52

be happy you didn't wipe it on the food you were eating....?

shamille 5

Saturday 27 February 2010 5:22

uxoriouswidow 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 1:07

That's what real men do. It isn't a legitimate kill unless your body is smeared with the victim's entrails.

Darkhumor 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 2:34

^this^ Comment is win

madarchod 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 1:27

good

couny343 1

Saturday 27 February 2010 1:38

yeah your shirts dirty so your life is completley ****** beyond belief.

ralphyr 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 5:09

wow. your life really sucks. At least you got to have lunch. kids in Haiti didn't.

CallMeHush 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 5:35

Well at least you didn't lick your fingers. Right? oh oh FYL, that's gross.

FCChelsea 3

Saturday 27 February 2010 6:27

Shoo fly, don't bother him Shoo fly, don't bother him no more, more, more

0mfgz 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 6:54

Good job on actually killing it, but you should've washed your hands afterwards. On the bright side, at least you didn't smear its guts all over your food.

wasted0087 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 8:26

War Paint! No flies will mess with you anymore!

mzhonesty 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 15:28

I can't accept that you didn't realize there was fly guts on your hands after you just killed a fly. It must be a reflex for you to smear anything on your hands onto your shirt.