Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly...

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 5 635

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Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 403

You deserved it 3 194

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 8 665

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 6 352

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 937

You deserved it 7 117

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 10 867

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 678

You deserved it 8 170

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 451

You deserved it 7 542

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 128

You deserved it 7 032

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 138

You deserved it 13 424

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 307

You deserved it 29 260

mahade 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 13:12

I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!

SlightlyGPirate 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 12:12

hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD

Comments

mizranii 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 0:07

that was fuckinh hilarious. your girl is my idol. take humor. haha

broadwaygirl22 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:02

your girlfriend rocks hahahaha

zebradude 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:54

she's AWESOME!!! XD

briasia 5

Sunday 22 May 2011 5:35

Lmfao that's hilarious, I'm sorry for u but that's just too funny.

shameless58 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 3:10

pure champs!!!

dubbadee123 5

Monday 27 June 2011 11:15

she sounds pretty badass

SonjaJay 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 5:34

At least she's funny

cdpaynee 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:43

your gfvus awesome

TheOtherMakona 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 3:42

I do feel bad for you because you did the right thing and basically got emotionally bitch-slapped. However, a sense of humor like that is hard to come by. Appreciate what you have before it's gone.