Miscellaneous: Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad...

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 476

You deserved it 3 919

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 380

You deserved it 2 832

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 4 131

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 964

You deserved it 2 524

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 761

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 954

You deserved it 1 197

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 395

You deserved it 3 344

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 821

You deserved it 11 172

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 10 135

By missmirror - 02/05/2011 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 672

You deserved it 5 015

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 6 071

RezaCookies 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 19:43

yeahh youd rather burn than be soothed by cold water huh.

Me654 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 19:41

Well shouldn't it cool you down a bit?

Comments

airforce987 20

Saturday 16 April 2011 23:18

actually it's A for effort

Dudelike89 8

Saturday 16 April 2011 23:37

FYL. I mean, it's not like you were out of the kitchen.

AnotherChemMajor 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 23:39

You need a sign in the kitchen saying "Caution, woman in the kitchen." Your dad might think next time

collegeadministr 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 23:49

Ouch! I would stick with iced coffee from now on.

terpchick88 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 0:37

I'm impressed you could drink *boiling* hot coffee... jus sayin...

sheethapins 13

Sunday 17 April 2011 0:46

At least you're awake now. Think of it as an up and at'em for the day!

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 17 April 2011 0:57

Or A for affront.

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Sunday 17 April 2011 1:01

Or "e" for elephant because elephants never forget :D

Barney_Rubble_75 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 1:41

your Dad cancelled out his goofball mistake by preventing serious burns. the cold water delivered so quickly definately would have helped you. it might be an FML if he had held back the water because he didn't want to make a mess, but he loves you so he took drastic action. it's a good day OP. Enjoy the rest of it.

djames66 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 2:09

Retaliation! Grab the garden hose from the back of the house and stretch it into the kitchen area! Nothing's more fun than a giant indoor water fight! Even better, see if the hose will reach into your parent's bedroom! get 'em there!