Miscellaneous: Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend,...

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 4 338

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 483

By mr_dinzaster - 30/05/2019 22:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 1 878

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 115

You deserved it 3 472

By Jeff - 15/07/2014 20:37 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 625

You deserved it 11 808

By Gamergirl137 - 16/01/2016 02:28 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 2 606

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 907

You deserved it 5 024

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 804

You deserved it 3 907

Dodged some bullshit

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 183

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 495

You deserved it 3 465

bteundeadmidget 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:10

Sharing is caring op?

xCrazyWhiteGirlx 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:15

Burgar Bombing, the new fad

Comments

EnterSandman_fml 20

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:38

Pickles pickles pickles pickled pickles. BURGER.

ekarjala 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:42

You totally deserve it for bringing a burger to a liquor store. Drunk people love burgers, and drunk bums love other peoples burgers more!

LordOfLincoln 6

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:56

YDI for not protecting your food at all times.

HattedMad 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:08

If it was a burger king burger, then you shouldn't be surprised. He had it his way

newlove_fml 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:26

It's the hamburgler! Run op, he may strike again! Curse you hamburgler, curse you!

bluechevy101 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:34

#winning

marissamay25 3

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:36

Hey drunk people got to eat too

karmicsamadi86 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:44

How? What? How?!

Apathy182 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:57

It's like stealing candy from a baby, or in this case, a bite of a burger...

Colonel_Lexi 18

Thursday 26 January 2012 20:01

I would've lost my shit, I hate when people take my food without permission.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 7 572

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 433

You deserved it 25 821

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 622

You deserved it 39 126

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 2 479

Pokémon GO got weird...

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 93

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 4 955

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 76

Same thing different taste

Dodged some bullshit

Bad timing

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