Intimate moments: Too dry

Too dry

By Anonymous - 22/02/2020 20:00

Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 408

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Same thing different taste

By Rrae - 25/02/2019 02:00

Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 245

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 3 937

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 841

By Anonymous - 28/01/2019 12:00 - United States - Arcade

Today, I woke up with a horrible UTI after having sex with my fiance the night before. I went to an urgent care to get antibiotics as my primary is closed. Turns out, I'm allergic to condom lubricant. Now everytime I pee, It not only burns, but smells like a nasty condom... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 215

By MysticSoup - 21/04/2019 22:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 3 917

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 4 859

Cheesy.

By freshflowerz - 16/03/2018 00:00 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 461

By la poisse - 19/11/2008 05:59 - France

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 032

You deserved it 3 513

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 762

You deserved it 345

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 1 769

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 22 February 2020 20:02

Or try foreplay.

Tom O'Halloran 9

Sunday 23 February 2020 4:34

son, you just gotta learn to lick that kitty...

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 22 February 2020 20:02

Or try foreplay.

Ol Reemo Williams 2

Sunday 23 February 2020 1:21

She got dry cooch 😂🤣

Tom O'Halloran 9

Sunday 23 February 2020 4:34

son, you just gotta learn to lick that kitty...

JLS 4

Tuesday 25 February 2020 1:42

I assure you no nurse is embarrassed the say that. The doctor gives you the diagnoses dumb ass

slhiggx 17

Wednesday 14 April 2021 21:18

You miss read...

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The Top

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 432

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 199

The Top

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 381

You deserved it 313

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 3 227

Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 492

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town, thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 81 114

Today I woke up feeling good and ready for my online business class final, only to find that it had somehow been submitted and graded with a zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 139

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 4 191

Too dry

Same thing different taste

Cheesy.

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