Intimacy: Twit to who

Twit to who

By Hooty - 02/09/2015 21:52 - United States - Groveton

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 2 346

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Same thing different taste

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 634

You deserved it 5 308

By SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 087

You deserved it 3 304

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 3 821

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 2 728

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 484

YELP!

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 137

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 167

Hummmmmmmmm

By SleeplessInDenver - 02/09/2019 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I moved into my brand new apartment, only to discover that there is an annoying, constant hum coming from the ceiling above my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 145

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 17:02

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 170

Coland 19

Thursday 3 September 2015 12:36

Your aunt seems like a real night owl.

idk_rose 25

Thursday 3 September 2015 12:34

This is awkward...

Comments

kaylae22 13

Thursday 3 September 2015 16:11

My bf heard his sister do it several times and when he said something she got pissed at him since his room was above hers

fabulousfiasco 12

Thursday 3 September 2015 17:13

Imitrex.

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 3 September 2015 17:16

Your aunt has some nice hooters.

CrassKal 27

Thursday 3 September 2015 21:19

A lotta layers to this fml.

JustinJK 21

Thursday 3 September 2015 21:24

That's what I was thinking. so much going on!

Dexter83_fml 17

Thursday 3 September 2015 22:19

That is so hoot !

WingedLovely27 20

Friday 4 September 2015 1:31

Is her name Lysa Arryn, by chance?

worldclassrager 39

Friday 4 September 2015 3:46

Who are you to judge? Sex is a real hoot

thebadguy85 10

Friday 4 September 2015 4:41

This is an FML within an FML within an FML. FMLception.

ulissey_fml 22

Friday 4 September 2015 9:26

That memory will aunt your nights forever...

MSCCG 16

Friday 4 September 2015 10:30

Try ibuprofen ?

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 84 244

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 902

You deserved it 1 525

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 2 575

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 165

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 192

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 13 149

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 216

You deserved it 42 495