Wage slave - FML

Wage slave

By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 119

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

By I'm so wet, baby - 28/11/2014 17:27 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 784

You deserved it 7 626

By No name - 18/12/2008 04:43 - Australia

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 2 836

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 4 741

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 348

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

By arthur - 19/11/2011 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 2 631

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 144

By XoXonedirectionXoXo - 23/06/2012 22:21 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 266

You deserved it 32 414

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 565

You deserved it 6 441

Next

Top comments

Warp1978 15

Tuesday 24 November 2020 21:22

Did you not put your self in an auxiliary code or make yourself busy on the chat. This is a rookie error

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 November 2020 21:29

Adult diapers. You're welcome.

Comments

Warp1978 15

Tuesday 24 November 2020 21:22

Did you not put your self in an auxiliary code or make yourself busy on the chat. This is a rookie error

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 November 2020 21:29

Adult diapers. You're welcome.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 504

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 875

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 006

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 1 991

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 099

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 220

You deserved it 8 174

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 571

You deserved it 49 374

Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 317