Work, Health and Coffee: Wake me up before you go go

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 366

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's called getting old

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, like most days recently, and even after 10 hours of sleep, I need at least 3 cups of coffee per day in order be able to… sit on the sofa and, well, not fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 198

By KitKat20 - 18/10/2016 13:05 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 361

You deserved it 1 544

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 5 063

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 077

By ButNotBed - 04/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 864

By fitzy79 - 31/01/2014 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 797

You deserved it 3 759

By Sleepy - 09/10/2014 14:10 - United Kingdom - Hayes

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 007

You deserved it 15 667

By jaym42013 - 22/07/2016 19:29 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 884

You deserved it 1 117

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 6 566

Not funny, guys

By person - 20/09/2015 23:57 - United States - League City

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 708

You deserved it 2 991

GamineHoyden 2

Saturday 29 January 2022 2:26

Sleep Phase Disorder.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 29 January 2022 2:05

So you may have an internal clock that puts your sleep schedule on a different pattern than everyone else's. You can go to the doctor and get some tests done, and they can give you a medical note so your boss (hopefully) doesn't do this again.

Comments

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 29 January 2022 2:05

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 January 2022 2:22

You're still drunk from last night?

GamineHoyden 2

Saturday 29 January 2022 2:26

Sleep Phase Disorder.

randybryant799 20

Saturday 29 January 2022 3:29

You're complaining because you didn't have to get to work until 10a?? Are you kidding me?

cacheson 41

Saturday 29 January 2022 16:42

That’s not OPs complaint. The complaint is about how sleepy and fatigued they are and don’t understand why because 10am is obviously a ridiculous time to feel like that.

SJKatt 15

Saturday 29 January 2022 7:39

Get your thyroid levels checked.

Nazmazh 18

Saturday 29 January 2022 11:49

As someone with ADHD and Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, I feel your pain, my dude. Trying to live life according to the rules of normal society is like living in permanent jet lag. Some people are just wired to function better later in the day. And it really sucks when you do have to interact with people, so you have to actually try to fight off your jerk-brain long enough to accomplish whatever you have to. Of course, if it's completely arbitrary and there's no reason for you to be in that early, and it's just posturing on your boss's side of things because he doesn't trust you to complete your work on time because he can't physically see you or whatever - Well that's just an asshole move on his part.