Intimacy: You ain't heard anything, right?

You ain't heard anything, right?

By blabbermouth - 08/10/2012 17:26 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 111

You deserved it 37 412

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 33 480

By tht1chk - 31/10/2010 00:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 669

You deserved it 30 718

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 285

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 015

You deserved it 5 893

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 5 316

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 012

You deserved it 7 446

By lez probs - 18/05/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 535

You deserved it 21 746

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

MorganXAlexander 6

Monday 8 October 2012 23:07

You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful

SirCharles83 13

Monday 8 October 2012 23:13

This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.

Comments

SgtCervantesusmc 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 3:58

bless your heart.

BitchSoEpic 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 5:41

Obviously she's not a virgin so what does it matter.

TweetAnne 13

Tuesday 9 October 2012 8:00

If her mom has different views from yours you should respect them. What you two did was disrespectful. You should of at least had the decency to wait until his mom was out of the house.

blueprynt 3

Tuesday 9 October 2012 8:05

How is this a FML moment? He gave you a warning. Now, if his "incredibly religious" mother didn't know until she heard you say it. Different story. FYL you totally got a FML wrong.

vbmg152 18

Tuesday 9 October 2012 9:25

How disrespectful can you be? If it were my house, you have a bigger problem than your "sex" hair! Get your own place! YDI

bstudds 1

Tuesday 9 October 2012 9:30

this FML gives me serious déjà vu because it always has the same effect: 1) people arguing over whether OP was being disrespectful 2) everyone trying to figure out, assume, speculate etc OP's age 3) whether it took place under parent's roof or if the parent lives with OP. oh and I forgot 4) multiple crazies are checking all posts for spelling, punctuation, comma usage and subject verb agreement hoping to showcase their vast and superior knowledge of the English language.

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 9 October 2012 14:19

no bueno

reelucy 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 17:05

perhaps you now realize why you should wait to have sex wth someone who has their own place and can drive, or when you can drive. considering sex can make babies (really!) you should probably be a bit more responsible before you do it.

HeartOfLead 24

Tuesday 9 October 2012 18:40

And he has to keep a serious secret, you don't see him exclaiming his problems.

BlookenBslk 9

Tuesday 9 October 2012 18:49

I seriously don't get this disrespectful stuff. I mean she may be religious and all but I'm pretty sure his mother has had sex while he was home at one point. My parents have sex while people are home. Granted we're supposed to be sleeping but that doesn't change nothing. If my parents can have sex while we're home why can't I have sex while they're home?

lelo007 11

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:05

This depends.. Is it a rule you can't have sex in their home? The favorite thing for my mom, and I'm sure a million others to say, "My house, my rules. As long as you don't pay the mortgage, you get to follow our rules." It's really not that hard to NOT have sex in a parent's house.

pengin 13

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:59

UHHH well maybe when it's the parents' house, they make the rules?? The parents pay for the house, the heat, electricity etc presumably and of course the parents have every right to have sex in their own house. DERP. Of course, most people would agree it isn't very tasteful to do so when the children are home or knowingly awake etc etc though-- but that's why there is a time and place for everything. You even admitted you were supposed to be asleep-- therefore shouldn't have known. What is a parent to do to know they can have sex in their home? It really is disrespectful if kids have sex at home when the parents are there. I'm not against having sex at one's parents house-- as with the economy, even college grads may have a challenging time to get a place for themselves, so having sex at a parent's house shouldn't necessarily be frowned upon. You definitely shouldn't have sex when the parents are home though- bottom line..