Intimacy: You ain't heard anything, right?

You ain't heard anything, right?

By blabbermouth - 08/10/2012 17:26 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 111

You deserved it 37 412

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Same thing different taste

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 480

By tht1chk - 31/10/2010 00:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 30 718

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 285

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 015

You deserved it 5 893

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 5 315

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 010

You deserved it 7 446

By lez probs - 18/05/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 533

You deserved it 21 745

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

MorganXAlexander 6

Monday 8 October 2012 23:07

You had sex with his religious mother in the house? Disrespectful

SirCharles83 13

Monday 8 October 2012 23:13

This is one time where a grammar nazi is needed. Did they: Have sex with his mother, in her house? Or did they Have sex, with her mother in the house. Kind of like good old uncle jack and his horse.

Comments

scuttlebuttz 1

Tuesday 9 October 2012 21:04

"I meant sexY hair, Mrs. X. Doesn't it look pretty?" And that is how you cover your ass

ShannonBitt 29

Tuesday 9 October 2012 22:38

You should've played it off by saying he was messing with your hair, and you meant it just looked like sex hair.

doondagr8_1 9

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:23

Even if the mother wasn't very religious, it'd still be disrespectful.

TessMaddie 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:27

Maybe they had sex before the mother got home and then she came back as the girl was getting ready to leave?

douchebag232 2

Wednesday 10 October 2012 16:44

You people make me angry. " oh thats disrespectful oh this oh that" damn man i give the OP props fer havin the kahonas to pull that off. I had my dad walk in on me two days ago. Me and him laughed about it. People need to grow up and stop being societal robots

TheMystery13 13

Wednesday 16 January 2013 6:46

You never would have ****** him if his mother hadn't ****** his father, so **** religious people and their problems with *******.

mommy2cassidy 18

Tuesday 23 December 2014 6:41

I had sex in my mothers house. I paid rent and only had him over when my mom was at work (super awkward if she was in the house lol) my mom only had two rules regarding that 1. No sex on the kitchen table and 2. No sex in her bed. It wasn't even a rule that I have him over while she was out lol. I did it for my sake