Health: Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from...

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 638

You deserved it 2 098

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Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 602

You deserved it 860

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 9 825

By mynoseburns - 22/02/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 528

You deserved it 2 657

Geyser

By Ouch - 15/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 621

You deserved it 11 137

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 2 208

Hangover

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 923

You deserved it 6 674

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 280

You deserved it 4 595

jenninyc1128 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

That really must have been terrible, hope you feel better!!!

WolfAvenge 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:56

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

Comments

WolfAvenge 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:56

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

jerryj 27

Wednesday 14 October 2015 18:06

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

jenninyc1128 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

That really must have been terrible, hope you feel better!!!

Livin_Like_Larry 29

Tuesday 13 October 2015 23:24

For some reason, every time I read this it sounds like sarcasm to me

YumeWolf 23

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:57

Oh wow, that sucks OP! Hope you're feeling better now.

Atromus 13

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:58

Ah gross that must itch.

2C0OL4SCH0OL 17

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:59

Oh well anyone would throw up in that kinda situation. You have a pretty bad luck though. Hope you aren't traumatized because of that.

Dabeli_fml 16

Tuesday 13 October 2015 15:59

And now I have thrown up. FML.

Redoxx_fml 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:16

**** the fly's life

Novadi 22

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:24

You can't **** something that doesn't exist anymore.

chrisbeaudoin 26

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:27

Today, i was minding my own business and all when a human tried to eat me and then splatter all it's human fluids over me. FML

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:18

throwing up some perfectly good protein OP!

dyoy_87 21

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:18

That story is so fly

FalloutScrolls 25

Tuesday 13 October 2015 16:19

Rapid fire puking. ...it's a skill.

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The Top

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 79 303

Today, I had to use my husband's vehicle. He has been spiraling into a mean, bigoted man. I got into his vehicle and the radio was on a station that was spewing weird stereotypes of women, and making fun of anyone who is not a hard supporter of a certain orange politician/businessman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 249

The Top

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 296

You deserved it 4 717

Today, a classmate wished me a “Happy Cinco De Mayo” and bought me a Mexican sombrero to wear, and little paper Mexican flags to wave around. I’m Venezuelan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 136

Today, the thirteenth new hire quit at the call center I work at, while still in training. We just started last week with a wave of 20 new hires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 273

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 445

You deserved it 44 964

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 63 339

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 1 727

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Tasty

Geyser

Hangover

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