By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Spicy
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

lajaynay 15

I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

241 18

Comments

iloveeyouuxD 9

I know right. I wish my grandma was that open lol

8 1
Drigr 9

yeah. unless he's some hardcore Christian or something he was probably "**** yeah!"

8 3
kmumma 3

Wonder what she was like in her prime:p

31 0
2ndSucks 15

Im so showing this to my grandparents.

23 3
forkbrother13 0

MY GRANDMAS DEAD!!

0 4
iluvboobies 9

OP, watch out! Your granny might vag-block you.

14 3
The_Weirdo 10

Op, what are you worried about? If my Gf's family complemented me like that I would have it made. Unfortunately to them, I am a piece of shit from the bowls of hell.

13 1
gideeupp 9

Haha I love grandmas like that :) Mine is usually pretty conservative til she yelled '****' one day... Haha

10 1
samammynanny 0

Well I prefer a grandma like that over the racist one I have!!!!!! I told her I was dating a black guy and she flipped!!

20 3
newnew8 0

your grandma is the ******* shit. love her!

8 1
iSitt 0

Looks like two thumbs up from the grandma

5 0
duckman9 55

that's the coolest grandma ever!

1 1
nativepimp 1

my grandma smokes weed...

0 2
naughtia 14

At least he didn't **** her sideways

3 0
lajaynay 15

I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

241 18
kilageDB 0

Maybe you need them if you want a grandmother like that?

22 12
lajaynay 15

58- not really. She's just always been that way so it does get kinda old after 18 years.

13 2
eraintime 0

I wouldn't want to have a grandma like OPs. At all.

1 2
DCFan 9

Well in that case, cool comment.

75 4
missyj0 12

I want a grandma like that! Sure, it's embarrassing. But if he's a good guy he'll laugh it off.

90 5
goshpeople 4

Especially since she apparently only had good things to say, even if they were rather saltily phrased.

21 1
aPieceOfFruit 16

@17 - Saltily Phrased. lol. Thats my sentence of the day....

8 2
cufaoil 11

It's to go with the tequila and lime she's obviously got stashed

5 0
Hammer940 7

Best grandma ever!

43 3
Halcyon3210 6

At least it was compliments instead of insults. . .

64 4
shybear15 0

Don't worry my grandma makes fun of mine... Right infront of him... All the time :P

27 1
lopez1222 3

Id would just go along with it.. Act like your whole family has turretts.

14 23
Halcyon3210 6

They have turrets?! At least they're prepared for an invading army. :p

22 0
OceanProtection 0

tourrhets you tard... maybe you should crack open a dr. seuss book instead of 'getting swoll' and working on your 'washboard abs' :)

8 28
optimusrhyme69 1

Double tard, it's spelled tourettes...

45 1
Halcyon3210 6

And optimusrhyme69 (hey, that rhymes) wins! Congratulations!

14 1
shovels 0

Triple tard, it's spelt like this: torrents

4 21
ChickenInMyKitch 4

Quadruple tard? it's spelled like aikdkkrkldj

28 1
maz255 10

so then after my mother stopped beating me with the iron, she moved on and grabbed her comb (since mommy doesnt like her hair being messed up while she er-"handles" me) she straightened her hair then threw it at me at which point my nuts were in full view...it was a tough rest of the day...

2 11