Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 967
You deserved it 12 664
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Top comments

ollie179 21

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

302 6
RockstarRN 10

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

183 14

Comments

RockstarRN 10

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

183 14
sparklecherry 4

Can you just shut up now?

4 32
Jimster1712 0

Agreed. A man must understand a man to be a man.

16 3
lvlcapblue 0

That, or he'll tack on an extra citation for writing/reading texts while driving.

9 0
OhbbyCx 6

"Today I had to pull over some idiot who was going way over the speed limit. He was sweating, so It seemed like he had something to hide. I told him to get out so I could pat him down, and what do I find? His penis was erect. FML."

37 4
DerekBlaskie 6

Shoulda used the excitement in your pants as an opportunity to evade the ticket.. Hit on the cop it always works... Lol you'll need luck. Msg me your prison address, I'll send condoms.

5 4
MrBoredGuy 1

The cop would know better than to keep someone else's naked molerat

28 0
StoryOfTheYear 14

3- I'd hope so. Loaded guns are dangerous.

24 0
cbdee 8

#3- keep what?? Cop has his own night stick :p

31 0
Jimster1712 0

Its an organic gun able to shoot sticky liquid that blinds the enemy for 5 seconds with a rate of fire of 3 shots per/org at a range of 1 meter. Most effective in close range. - National Firearms Foundation

24 1
DoubleDose 0

Sir, you'd better stay back, this is a weapon of sexual destruction. Sir, I'm warning you it has the power to inflict Massive STD casualties in a 50 block radius. *officer* Holy Shit a WSD, we need a road block and the hazmat division on the double!

8 5
ollie179 21

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

302 6
RedPillSucks 31

of course, now it's all wet and sticky. What was this gun made of???

25 6
Chunkylover76 4

Hey! Look on the bright side...your one of the very few who can say they got a reach around from a cop during a traffic stop!

62 0
Silentshdw13 22

"Excuse me officer, that secret weapon was meant for my girlfriend.."

142 6
kyarush 10

FHL! Lol that's the last thing he expected

24 2