Kids: Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 619

You deserved it 11 077

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Same thing different taste

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 8 864

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 437

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 15 737

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 88

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 409

You deserved it 45 250

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

By emily074 - 23/08/2015 03:13 - United States - Salem

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 159

You deserved it 11 932

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 987

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 10 797

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 3 283

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

Comments

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:32

Looks like baby food huh?

Damn_Hippster 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:16

How do you manage to throw up on yourself?

xxmel 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:31

#21 Maybe she threw up .. And wasn't over a toilet or garbage can. If you throw up standing up, it will get on you.

Kayokku 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

Lol, good job.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:04

Unimpressed cat approves your cat-like IQ.

lindseykcool 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:29

YDI, definitely.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

lendalynn 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

That's unfortunate..

angrymexican 8

Friday 13 January 2012 0:53

Is that why it's on FML?

kadesgb 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:35

Old

ZealIFeel 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Or maybe the two year old spun you around upside down and that's why they weren't dizzy and you were O.o

mserrato 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Vertigo?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

dudeman1212 22

Friday 13 January 2012 3:52

Doesn't everyone?

dhardesty23 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:43

*note to self* do not spin kid in circles anymore. possibly enjoyable for kid but that's just too bad.

yourmurderscenex 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:44

lesson learned.

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Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 124

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 22

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Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 846

You deserved it 4 496

Today, it's my birthday. My mom and three other relatives each bought me a copy of Diablo 3 for my birthday. A video game that I didn't ask for, for a console I don't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 316

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 440

You deserved it 43 162

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 174

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 5 332

Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 265

Same thing different taste

Splat!

Cropduster

What goes up…

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