Kids: Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school.... - FML

By Lonely School Kid - 30/07/2015 22:35 - Canada

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 176

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The biggest lie

By dumb - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 939

You deserved it 4 689

Demonic

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 14:41 - United States - Modesto

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 340

You deserved it 3 793

By Anonymous - 16/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 406

You deserved it 337

Unwanted

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 00:30

Today, I found out my mom had been telling everyone how independent I was and just wanted to be left alone. I was homeless when I graduated valedictorian from high school and wondering why no one would let me stay with them, even when it was snowing. Now I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 113

What are you doing here?

By sadmom - 18/03/2020 05:05

Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 429

A date to remember

By Unlovedchild - 21/03/2011 15:03

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 4 720

Insane parents

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 11:08 - United States - Sammamish

Today, I found out that 20 years ago, when my friends would call to talk to me after I started being homeschooled, my parents told them we were moving. We never moved. I could never understand why all of my friends stopped talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 456

You deserved it 129

By Armstrong - 18/04/2015 23:55 - United States - Brownsville

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 468

By skiergal98 - 18/08/2019 02:00

Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 161

Bad thought

By Anonymous - 24/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 202

Next

Top comments

catkat1988 17

Friday 31 July 2015 13:12

Some day your parents are going to realise the reason why you're not visiting them in their nursing home: You don't want the children of the other residents to find out they're your parents.

DeadHorseman 11

Friday 31 July 2015 12:41

this is beyond ****** up. if you want my email or anything to talk let me know

Comments

hoosiergirl94 31

Friday 31 July 2015 12:34

Nice guys finish last!

mimi_animee 18

Friday 31 July 2015 12:43

thats, why i'll treat you like trash (someone please get this reference)

nonsensical 26

Friday 31 July 2015 12:46

niga higa!

helptheorphans 17

Friday 31 July 2015 15:11

but... that's not what I really wanna do.

ColdRoxas 18

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:31

that means everyone needs to be mean af so we can all finish first :D ....logic....true logic

Creed_Aprooved 12

Saturday 1 August 2015 21:29

idk I like to let girls finish before I do

Therid 22

Friday 31 July 2015 12:35

Aaaw. That's so sad. I'm sorry for you, OP.

blcksocks 19

Friday 31 July 2015 15:10

I can't decide which is worse... Parents being embarrassed by their kids or the other way around. I mean look at that penis baguette guy in the other post.

thejonac 21

Friday 31 July 2015 12:37

sorry but your parents are bitches. you sound nice :) get out there and make more friends, you're gonna find pepple who appreciates you for being you

uncle_ssaamm 12

Friday 31 July 2015 18:56

op never said they didnt have enough friends its just their parents are trash

cole66 14

Friday 31 July 2015 20:53

another reason 90% people on this app are trash, this persons comment got buried cause she messed up one thing while trying to make the person feel better.... sad. may the down votes begin

thejonac 21

Saturday 1 August 2015 13:40

thanks, really appreciate this :-)

pokemyeyes 23

Friday 31 July 2015 12:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

DeadHorseman 11

Friday 31 July 2015 12:41

this is beyond ****** up. if you want my email or anything to talk let me know

trellz17 19

Friday 31 July 2015 16:26

Showing support gets you thumbed down? Interesting.

jqmalang 17

Friday 31 July 2015 12:41

Some parents... I'm sorry OP but I suggest trying to improve yourself on an activity like sports or learn card magic tricks to show some people. You can make friends easy that way (:

soulreaper12296 28

Friday 31 July 2015 19:41

This has nothing to do with OP not having friends.

Anonypus 20

Friday 31 July 2015 12:43

Wow, I'm sorry OP.

theamazingd 17

Friday 31 July 2015 12:54

My, how the turntables...

everton99 16

Saturday 1 August 2015 4:25

Like a DJ?

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Friday 31 July 2015 12:54

Well, that wasn't very Canadian of them.

EvilLittleMan 23

Friday 31 July 2015 12:56

Wow. What a pair of Canuckleheads.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 832

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

The Top

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 742

You deserved it 5 448

Today, we paid to park in a lot in the city. Hours later, we returned to find our car booted. Apparently the guy that took our money didn't work there. We're stuck three states away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 416

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 282

You deserved it 1 032

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 039

You deserved it 4 758

Today, I frantically chased a customer down the parking lot, because they had left their package at my register, only to find out that the whole time I was chasing the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 545

You deserved it 4 640