Health, Sex and Dreams: Don't dream it's over

Don't dream it's over

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 22:00 - United States - Burleson

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 234

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By Dreamblocker - 28/06/2021 22:00

Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 202

By Dead_Fox - 21/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 3 889

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 489

You deserved it 19 820

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 155

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 874

You deserved it 41 383

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 233

You deserved it 3 609

By anonymous - 26/03/2015 03:43 - United States

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 904

You deserved it 2 931

By crashingdown - 29/05/2010 05:28 - Australia

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 084

You deserved it 14 593

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 4 495

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 March 2023 4:25

The opening sentence was intriguing, but then the rest fizzled. The better story would have been: I was about to have sex with my girlfriend when her Roomba ran over my last condom and sucked it up. Now, go edit your story and you're welcome.

Nazmazh 18

Saturday 18 March 2023 13:13

Honestly, it's probably for the best. I mean, would you really want to run the risk of visibly having had a sex dream while being monitored/observed by other people? I'm sure it happens and hospital staff are professionals about it, but like... still.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 March 2023 4:25

Yudith 24

Saturday 18 March 2023 18:28

Alain Vadeboncoeur, a cardiologist, had a great story that could have begun the same way, except there was a girl involved. Let's say the randy couple had a surprise when the revival team and the emergency chariot came busting into the patient's private room.

Nazmazh 18

Saturday 18 March 2023 13:13

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 19 March 2023 3:02

It could have been worse. Your doctor could have been doing rounds with some med students and called in to check on you right as you came. That story would have been told repeatedly for weeks.