Miscellaneous: Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries...

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 881

You deserved it 2 602

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lonelyheart4ever - 13/08/2016 01:58 - United States - Norman Park

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 327

You deserved it 1 474

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 867

You deserved it 3 601

Casual something

By lukey101 - 14/02/2021 18:30 - Australia

Today, I went to the Asian Grocery. I politely smiled, bellowed, “Hello!” and kind of waved to the cashier as I walked in, to which he gave me a blank, scared-for-his-life kinda look. Turns out he was actually just another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 430

How're you doing?

By figcurzyez - 23/05/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 019

You deserved it 2 340

Supermarket sweep

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 74

By MissSmarts - 14/12/2009 01:27 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 978

You deserved it 39 670

By Nice Melons - 29/09/2013 21:12 - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 706

You deserved it 4 951

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 444

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 846

You deserved it 15 941

No joke

By ohfuxx - 23/03/2022 10:00

Today, I learned that you can't fool the self-checkout scanner by taking six items and only paying for two. Sometimes, two big security guards may grab you by both arms and take you to their office. To convince them to let me off the hook, I desperately said that it was just a joke. They weren't laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 2 523

whatarethisss 23

Monday 9 November 2015 22:50

This is actually hilarious, lmao.

karacakal2 30

Monday 9 November 2015 22:52

You should've put a third one to assert dominance

Comments

whatarethisss 23

Monday 9 November 2015 22:50

This is actually hilarious, lmao.

TH_Insomniak 15

Tuesday 10 November 2015 15:16

as someone who does this kinda thing all the Time, I can tell you he was just going it to **** with you. And it seemed to work

cole_tyler42 21

Monday 9 November 2015 22:51

Well, are you Jewish?

firefighter925 18

Monday 9 November 2015 22:51

Should of stared right back menacingly and said I wouldn't either

JKPwnage 27

Tuesday 10 November 2015 2:07

Should have* paid attention in English

mariri9206 32

Tuesday 10 November 2015 4:46

#27 that was a well done burn.

Host2phats 21

Thursday 10 December 2015 18:40

BURN

PencilTips 19

Tuesday 19 April 2016 21:00

And then added another divider to the second... to add effect.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Monday 9 November 2015 22:52

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh. I have to do this one day.

karacakal2 30

Monday 9 November 2015 22:52

You should've put a third one to assert dominance

Lalala579121 27

Tuesday 10 November 2015 5:55

While constantly staring at the guy.

smokecloud_ 37

Tuesday 10 November 2015 8:51

And peeing on him.

ApparentlyNotEno 28

Tuesday 10 November 2015 17:17

This actually made me laugh heartily out loud. Good on you! X-D

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Wednesday 11 November 2015 2:58

Nope, you should have claimed the no man's land between the two in the name of your glorious empire and told him that any movement into that land would be regarded as a declaration of war.