The Top

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Depends on the content of the message…

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Sandy

Today, I was sexting my ex in a bad choice whirlwind, but I accidentally sent it to the guy I've just met. I immediately knew the message wasn’t meant for him, and that it ruined our chances of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 703

Diddums

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 108

Real Housewives coded

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 03:30 - India

Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 108

This is fine

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, during a silent exam, my stomach made the loudest, most embarrassing growling noise possible. It was so loud that the professor looked up and some people in the room turned to look at me. The girl next to me offered me a granola bar, and I accepted, even though the growl was actually me desperately holding in a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 104

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 72

Par for the course

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I carried my golf bag from the club house to my car. When I got there, my rear pocket got caught in a zipper on the bag. I couldn't get them separated. I had to take my pants off to fix it. Yes, three couples walked by, pretending not to notice. Had it not happened to me, I would not believe this story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 94

Hang in there

By Dani - 16/10/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it's the sixth day of no power after hurricane Milton. No air conditioning and freezing cold showers hit so much harder at 36 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 88

Soiled

By Mustanggt - 03/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my clueless British boss booked me on a six hour Greyhound bus trip for work. He doesn't know what happens on American buses: the endless delays and stops, the drugs, the sharts… FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 83

We're in Hell

By I hate my life - 01/12/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, the company I work for is now under new ownership. Somehow, this set off a series of events that resulted in the best boss I've ever had being effectively fired. I'm badly disabled, and she was the only thing stopping me from experiencing rampant ableism at work. I may be jobless again very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 125

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 181

Charming

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 73

A mother's love

By Anna - 02/08/2024 14:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was stranded on the couch with a sleeping baby. I had my phone, but everything I wanted to do needed both hands, or sound. I was toying with my phone on my lips when someone texted me, causing the phone to vibrate my teeth, which hurt, and to avoid my baby falling, I crunched my shoulder and pulled a muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 456

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 435

Blundering my way through life

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I accidentally spoiled the ending of a movie for a group of friends who hadn’t seen it yet. In an attempt to apologize, I blurted out, "At least I didn’t tell you the twist!" They didn't even know that there was a twist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 595

Family secrets

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Marysville

Today, my sister accused me of hacking into her phone because I helped her connect to a WiFi network a while ago, and she'd completely forgotten about it. I only found that out when my mom accidentally leaked it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 59

I'm fine, this is fine

By Harriett - 27/09/2024 06:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 309

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I got ready for work half-asleep, grabbed my coffee, and walked out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the elevator that I realized I was also holding the TV remote instead of my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 177

Knackered

By Phil - 14/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 133

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 08:00 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, on vacation with family, the power goes off in the middle of the night. I wake up as the A/C starts dripping on my head. No air, wet pillow, can't sleep, but I decide to tough it out until morning rather than wake everyone. In the morning, I discovered my sister had hit the breaker because she couldn't find the light switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 79

BOOM!

By Alison - 18/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 180

Jealousy

By Karine - 05/12/2023 00:00 - France - Bordeaux

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 217

Welcome to reality

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad came home roughly 3 hours early. He came back because he was laid off from his job, because there was no work for him on his current shift and they haven't found a replacement shift for him at the job he's currently at. Shouldn't they have figured that out in advance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 88

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been two months since I started dating a woman I met at work after she had found out her boyfriend cheated on her. She confessed to me she only looked through his phone to find evidence so she wouldn’t feel bad for liking me. I was happy as can be for two months. Now she’s now going back to her ex. We all see each other every Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 228

Where do we go now?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 03:00

Today, while vacationing in Mexico, the Airbnb we were supposed to check into today for 3 weeks just called to say that due to a broken water pipe, they're unable to host us. We're supposed to check out of our current stay in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 111

Stop trying to make fetch happen

By Frankie - 24/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 144

I'm surprised

By Anonymous - 29/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 121

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

Chase scene

By meantowheels - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 691

You deserved it 20 286

Game on!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 20:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when you have a banker and rental property manager for a dad, and a recently graduated business major for a boyfriend, the absolute worst thing you can do at family dinner night is suggest playing Monopoly. It was four hours of carnage I don’t think I can recover from FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 112

Anger management

By Sure, Mom - 15/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I needed to manage my spending better. This is the same woman who will log onto Candy Crush Saga, play a level and not come remotely close to beating it, and then blow $20+ on it to complete it. She got just a tad angry when I pointed out this hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 100

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, my nana tried to drown my pet rat because it's white with red eyes, and red eyes mean it’s Satan in disguise, and yet my mom still refuses to admit she needs to be in a nursing home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 123

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 436

You deserved it 154 564

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 806

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674